The charms that protect the train carriages had caused the explosives some attackers were carrying to detonate. Hogsmeade, May 15 – Terrorists trying to take control of a magical train carrying students back to wizarding school in Scotland were unable ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionLag BaOmer: Celebrating When Rabbi Shimon Shot An Apple Off His Son’s Head
Oblique metaphoric references to Rashbi’s feat with the apple have found their way into Jewish mystical sources, in which Rabbi Shimon is a seminal figure. Meron, May 14 – Hundreds of thousands of Jews gathered this weekend at the traditional ...
Read More »Arab MKs Disappointed That Calling For Netanyahu’s Head An Idiom
A Knesset legal adviser disabused them of a literal interpretation of the turn of phrase, leading them at first to express frustration, then disappointment. Jerusalem, May 14 – Legislators from the Joint List alliance of mostly-Arab parties in the Knesset ...
Read More »IDF Bulldozer Demolishes ‘Breaking The Silence’ Claims Of War Crimes
The use of a D-9 to demolish fabricated claims of Israeli misconduct against Palestinians is less frequent, as under most circumstances the willful distortions collapse under their own weight after a short period. Tel Aviv, May 10 – The Israeli ...
Read More »Arab League Delegates Hoping to Catapult Region Forward Into 15th Century
“If we aim high enough, we can reach the once-inconceivable levels of sophistication and advancement associated with the fourteen-hundreds in Europe.” Cairo, May 10 – Representatives of the 22 Arab member states of the Arab League plan to take up ...
Read More »Israelis Are The New Nazis? But We Palestinians LIKE Nazis
By Haj Mohammed Amin al-Husseini, Grand Mufti of Jerusalem One of the key characteristics of a compelling political narrative is clarity: clear goals, clear demands, and a clear articulation of those goals and demands. But today’s Palestinian Arabs, and their ...
Read More »Defeated Student Council Candidate Claims Russia Interfered In Election
The three-week campaign leading up to this week’s vote was marred by acrimonious exchanges. Or Akiva, May 11 – A high school junior who ran an unsuccessful campaign to lead the student government has accused Russian President Vladimir Putin’s government ...
Read More »Israel Moving Embassy From DC To Mar-a-Lago
The move signals a new approach to Israel’s relations with all the countries who locate their embassies to Israel in Tel Aviv instead of Jerusalem. Jerusalem, May 10 – Amid a frenzy of speculation whether President Donald Trump will authorize ...
Read More »Betzalel Having Trouble Integrating Nazi-Face-Melting Feature Into Holy Ark
“I told Moses that it’s only thanks to worker-safety protocols that we all haven’t been incinerated.” Wilderness of Sinai, May 10 – The chief architect of the Tabernacle reported today that he has encountered numerous difficulties incorporating into the vessel to ...
Read More »With Lowest Number Of Knesset Seats, Meretz Pushes For Homeopathic Representation
The fewer votes a party earns, the greater its representation would be in the Knesset. Jerusalem, May 9 – Israel’s summer legislative session began this morning with a Meretz-sponsored bill that would adopt homeopathic principles in assigning representation in the ...
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