By Basher Assad, President, Syrian Arab Republic We Arabs are a proud people. Honor is perhaps the strongest value in our culture, often trumping life itself. It is a point of pride for an Arab nation to attain self-sufficiency, and ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionTherapist Urges ‘Trans’Jordan To Embrace Sexual Identity
Suppressing its history of being Trans – a history that goes back to ancient times – has wrought emotional instability and a confused sense of self in Jordan. Amman, April 2 – A counselor working with the Hashemite kingdom that ...
Read More »Herzog’s Wife Tired Of Replacing His Underwear Torn By Wedgies
Not even a switch to boxers prevented the phenomenon from worsening, the sources indicate. Tel Aviv, April 2 – Michal Herzog has grown weary of mending and replacing the briefs her husband gets destroyed when subjected to his daily humiliation ...
Read More »Waqf Guide Tries To Explain How Mooning Dome Of Rock Is Sign Of Reverence
“For Muslims the sanctity of this place is very important. We protect it all the time from desecration by, uh, Jewish settlers who storm it and want to bow directly toward the Dome of the Rock!” Jerusalem, March 28 – ...
Read More »Activists To Undergo FGM To Show Feminist Opposition To Trump
“We may have no choice but to take our protests to the next level, whether it involves stoning blasphemers and adulterers or having women subjected to honor killings.” Washington, March 28 – In a bid to demonstrate that the president ...
Read More »Egged Driver Embarks On Mission To Eliminate Following Distance
The driver moved to close the gap as quickly as possible, lest, one must assume, a surfeit of air wreak untold havoc on everything in the vicinity. Jerusalem, March 30 – The operator of a local bus covering the Givat ...
Read More »Abbas Promises To End Incitement If Allowed To Kill 6.5 Million Jews
“This would in no way deny the inherent right of the Palestinian people to tell the truth about the Jewish usurping rapist of our land,” he continued. Ramallah, March 30 – Facing pressure from foreign governments and international bodies over ...
Read More »Oh, ‘ENEMY.’ I Was Wondering What ‘The Zionist Enema’ Is
By Ayyaf Dayariyya, unemployed Gaza City, March 29 – I’m glad you clarified what you just said, because the first time I heard it, I could have sworn you were vowing to destroy “the Zionist Enema,” and for the life ...
Read More »State Dept. Had Been Hoping For *DEMOCRATIC* Genocidal Mideast States
Diplomats had hoped the region could transition from iron-fisted rule by hereditary dictatorships to iron-fisted rule by democratically-elected governments. Washington, March 29 – With the release of former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak from prison today, staffers as the US Department ...
Read More »Knesset Recess Begins: Zoabi, Bitan Fight Over Whose Turn To Use Swings
Zoabi argued that the institutionalized discrimination of Israeli society and political system meant she must be given first use of the swing. Jerusalem, March 28 – Yesterday marked the first day of the Passover break in the Israeli parliament, prompting ...
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