“Palestinian youth do not need our programs to give them an outlet and indoctrination to violence. For that they have their own government and UNRWA.” Jenin, March 8 – A local youth organization with American sponsorship has been forced to ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionFashionistas Bash Female MKs International Women’s Day Attire As ‘Frumpy’
“Pantsuits as far as the eye could see.” Jerusalem, March 8 – Close followers of sartorial fashion trends has harsh words for female lawmakers today, criticizing them for unattractive clothing choices in honor of International Women’s Day. Fashion critics laced ...
Read More »Loaves And Fishes Suppliers Threatened By Jesus’s New Wholesale Operation
“Am I supposed to grow figs or something? I can see him causing my trees to wither and die, just to eliminate competition.” Capernaum, Galilee, March 9 – Sellers of loaves and fishes voiced concern today about losing business to ...
Read More »UK Labour ‘Antisemitism Czar’ Taking Term A Little Too Literally
“Why would they call me a czar, after all, unless I’m supposed to emulate a czar and pursue serious persecution of Jews?” London, March 9 – A Labour Party official appointed by Chairman Jeremy Corbyn to oversee the party’s efforts ...
Read More »New Regulations Mandate Horns As Loud On Inside Of Car As Outside
Automotive repair and installation establishments have been issued guidelines for calibrating existing horn systems to adapt them to the new requirements. Tel Aviv, March 8 – Automotive regulations scheduled to go into effect on the first of April will require ...
Read More »Hamas Forms New Combat Brigade Made Entirely Of Human Rights NGO Volunteers
The Rachel Corrie Brigade will be formally inaugurated this coming Monday. Hebron, March 8 – In pursuit of the advantages of diversified manpower, the militant organization that governs the Gaza Strip and several strongholds in the West Bank has established ...
Read More »Almost Done Cleaning For Pesach 2016!
By Justin Thyme It’s nearly finished. Just a couple of rooms to go and the place will be clean and ready for Pesach 2016. This took a little longer than it should have, I know. But you get to cleaning ...
Read More »Israel Practices Apartheid, Says Country That Bars Palestinians From Jobs, Voting, Property
“Palestinians are forced to vote only in Palestinian elections,” he charged. Ein el-Hilweh Refugee Camp, March 6 – A state that restricts Palestinians residing in its territory from owning property, obtaining citizenship, receiving state medical care, obtaining employment in twenty ...
Read More »Interrogators Forget Which Criminal Probe Of Netanyahu They’re Conducting
It does not help, say experts, that the news media and Opposition politicians conflate the various investigations. Tel Aviv, March 6 – Investigators questioning Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu in one of several open inquiries into his alleged misconduct in multiple ...
Read More »Synagogue Bombs Just Attempt To Make Impressive ‘Haman’ Noise
“Of course there will be those who try to outdo what came before.” New York, March 5 – Police believe the recent spate of bomb threats against Jewish places of worship was a misunderstanding, a department spokesman announced today, with ...
Read More »