Hamas is also considering the use of further automotive terrorist attacks and suicide bombings to sweeten the deal. Gaza City, February 5 – The Islamist militant organization that governs the Gaza Strip rejected a proposal last week to free some ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionWhenever I Need A Laugh, I Think Of All Those People Assuming Palestine Will Be A Liberal Democracy
By Mahmoud Abbas Nobody ever promised me the position of President of the Palestinian National Authority would be easy. I never expected it to be. Combine it with – or consider it a subsidiary role of – my position as ...
Read More »UFO Enthusiasts Call Palestinian Unity Government Too Far-Fetched
“Palestinian unity? What are you, some kind of nut?” Boise, Idaho, February 1 – Groups of devotees to the notion of extraterrestrial visitors secretly visiting Earth, and whose presence has been repeatedly concealed by the government for decades, despite no conclusive ...
Read More »High Court Rules Unconstitutional To Appoint Non-Left-Wing Justices
The ascendancy of the Left was cemented into the workings of the justice-appointment process, and the Left has been clinging to its hold on the institution for dear life. Jerusalem, February 2 – Israel’s supreme court handed down a decision ...
Read More »Protests Against Heaven’s Muslim Ban Intensify
Spokesmen for Heaven defended the new restrictions as necessary to protect the citizens of the Realm. Eden, February 1 – Demonstrations continued today over the exclusion of Muslims from Paradise, in some cases turning violent. Crowds of excluded Muslims and ...
Read More »Report: Gorsuch Nominated Only After Netanyahu Declined Role
Conway predicted that if Netanyahu faces trouble at home as a result of several ongoing criminal corruption probes, he might change his mind. Washington, February 1 – Trump administration insiders reported today that Neil Gorsuch, a federal judge nominated to ...
Read More »Researchers Find Original Agnon Shopping List
“‘Eggs. Bread. White cheese. Onions.’ He didn’t have to put the items in that order, but he chose that order. Why?” Jerusalem, February 1 – An accidental discovery of immense historical and literary value took place this week at the ...
Read More »Kool-Aid Man Joins IDF House Demolition Squad
A Defense Ministry spokesman described the deal as a “breakthrough.” Tel Aviv, January 31 – Ministry of Defense officials announced a new contract today with Kool-Aid Man, an expert in breaking through walls who will help the IDF demolish Palestinian ...
Read More »It’s Racist To Pigeonhole The Quebec Attackers Unless You Say They Were Inspired By Trump
By the Huffington Post Editorial Staff Last night’s mosque attack in Quebec has us in tears. Such violence against innocents never ceases to shock. In its wake we must be exceedingly careful not to assume the motives or identities of ...
Read More »Egypt Restricts Child Marriage: Minimum Bride Price Now 13 Goats
“Our girls are worth more than that.” Hirbun a-Tahta, Egypt, January 30 – In an effort to crack down on underage marriage, authorities in Egypt have set the minimum price to pay for a child bride at 13 goats, Ministry ...
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