“Our community reserves the right to resist this onslaught of heresy by any means,” read the statement. Jerusalem, December 21 – Religious leaders in the Muslim community across Israel warned today that if millions of Israeli Jews kindle their annual ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionGermany To Restrict Movement Of Undocumented Trucks
“This society cannot allow its safety to be undermined by the actions of such vehicles.” Berlin, December 21 – Following the murder of 12 people and the injury of dozens more when a truck plowed into a crowded Christmas market ...
Read More »SHOCKER: Scientists Find Non-Synthetic Compounds In Sufganiya ‘Jelly’
The public health ramifications of the study, if confirmed by subsequent research, are yet unknown. Rehovot, December 22 – Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science have discovered what are apparently actual non-artificial substances in the standard filling used for ...
Read More »Palestinian Security Confiscates Gold, Myrrh From Wise Men Visiting Bethlehem
Corruption and abuse of power have plagued the various organs of Palestinian internal security since their inception in 1993. Bethlehem, Judea, December 22 – A group of dignitaries from the East reported today that on their way to pay homage ...
Read More »I Hate Syrian And Iraqi Kids Even More Than I Hate Other Poor Kids
By Santa Claus ‘Tis the season! Now is when I do my final checks of those Naughty and Nice lists to make sure everything matches: which children of rich parents get fantastic, expensive gifts; which children of poor parents get ...
Read More »Impotence Of Int’l Community In Syria Supposed To Reassure Israel About ‘Shared’ Jerusalem
Western reluctance to act militarily to impair or stop the genocide occurring in Syria plays an important role in that argument. Aleppo, December 21 – Lack of political will around the globe to intervene in the bloodshed plaguing Syria is ...
Read More »Joint List MKs Sure There Was A Law That Permits Minorities To Commit Treason
If the effort succeeds, it may allow former MK Azmi Bishara to return from self-imposed exile in Qatar. Jerusalem, December 20 – Members of the Joint List alliance of mostly Arab parties in the Knesset spent Monday in an intense ...
Read More »Joseph Wondering Where The Hell Basel Ghattas Is With That Damn Phone
While conditions for Joseph in the prison are less brutal than for most prisoners, his situation remains far worse than the prisoners Ghattas has helped with his smuggling. Memphis Prison Facility, Egypt, December 19 – A Hebrew servant incarcerated for ...
Read More »US Urges Israel To Put Amona Evacuees In Reservations
“The State should spend generations deceiving them, depriving them, and occasionally throwing them a bone or two.” Washington, December 19 – Top American diplomats recommended that Israel follow the United States’ lead in treatment of people forcibly removed from areas ...
Read More »Judah Relieved Tamar Episode Won’t Be Taught In Day Schools
Tamar was unavailable for comment; a member of the household chastised reporters for disturbing her recovery from a difficult birth of twins. Adullam, Canaan, December 18 – Jacob’s fourth son and a leader of the emerging people of Israel expressed ...
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