The Morabitoun, as they will be known, with their female counterparts the Morabitat, will attempt to obstruct Jacob and his offspring from performing Talmudic rituals that threaten or undermine Palestine’s sanctity. Ramallah, December 18 – Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas had ...
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By Judah Joe, the guys are not pleased with your delusions of grandeur, and I can’t say I disagree. Aside from the fact that it’s just dangerously destabilizing to go boasting about visions of your own superiority over us, it’s ...
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Egyptian nationalists and the alt-right voiced satisfaction with the royal decision. Memphis, December 14 – The ruler of the Egyptian Empire today dismissed calls for his government to accept a definition of anti-Jewish rhetoric that includes some kinds of criticism ...
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“No one who conducts himself that way can continue to serve as firstborn.” Eden, December 15 – Scandal erupted today in Adam and Eve’s family after their eldest son was accused of seducing his sister, and calls emerged for Cain ...
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“We don’t need to know where the blood of an animal gets applied to the altar, or which internal organs get burned.” Wilderness of Sinai, December 15 – A coalition of Israelites representing all of the tribes but Levi petitioned ...
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“We have to protect the vulnerable population of pillow-fighters who did not ask to be hit.” Oberlin, Ohio, December 14 – A student activity intended to break the social ice and relieve some academic tension at a venerable academic institution ...
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The societal norm in Shechem is to kidnap, imprison, and rape girls whom one desires. Stockholm, December 14 – Sweden’s Minister of Foreign Affairs Margot Wallström suggested to Hebrew patriarch Jacob today that he and his family alter their perspective ...
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Hebrew officials dismissed the PETA allegations. Memphis, December 13 – A leading organization advocating for better treatment of animals has criticized the Hebrew leadership for abuse of snakes, citing a confrontation with Pharaoh’s sorcerers in which the creatures were transformed ...
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By Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu Thank you for attending this Coalition meeting on such short notice. I know many of you have important legislative and administrative business, and I do not take those commitments lightly. But we have yet ...
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“It will be a matter of mere weeks until we have completed the mission, and one hundred percent of the intended targets are eliminated in and around Aleppo.” Damascus, December 12 – A spokesman for Syria’s military announced this morning ...
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