Officials characterized the complex set of operations as a masterpiece. Tel Aviv, November 16 – Israeli Ministry of Defense and intelligence officials voiced satisfaction today after a post-mortem assessment of their clandestine activities related to the American presidential election, an ...
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Perhaps thou wishest to undergo a trial run with thy wife’s Egyptian maidservant? Thou canst always disown the tyke if he displeaseth thee. I am the LORD who hath taken thee out of Ur of the Chaldeans to give unto ...
Read More »Saudi Royal Family Orders 45,000 SodaStream Units
The agreement includes an option for the purchase of a further 20,000 units over two years. Riyadh, November 15 – King Salman of Saudi Arabia has inked a deal with an Israeli beverage manufacturer for the kingdom to purchase tens ...
Read More »Tel Aviv Professor Calls Introduction Of Right-Wing Bills ‘Microaggression’
“It is the duty of the State to protect its citizens from harm,” wrote Smolanibakhyan in the journal Cloister. Tel Aviv, November 14 – A professor of political science at Tel Aviv University warned today that the mere introduction of legislation ...
Read More »Strike Of Jaffa Port Workers Delays Jonah’s Departure
In the end, Jonah was forced to lay out the cost of an entire boat and crew. Jaffa, November 14 – A man of God attempting to avoid fulfillment of a divine mission he was given encountered trouble this morning ...
Read More »Despite Trump Victory, Racist Violence Still Technically Illegal In Most States
“Given the uncontrolled violence we’ve come to associate with Trump supporters, we’re going to keep looking until there’s something to report. “ New York, November 13 – Post-election investigation has found that less than a week after the United States elected ...
Read More »Israeli Scientists Now Just Trolling BDS With Breakthroughs
Lancet specifically cited recent breakthroughs in AIDS research, cancer treatment, and Alzheimer prevention. Rechovot, November 13 – A representative of Israeli research institutions and personalities admitted that the main factor behind a string of recent scientific and technological advances emanating ...
Read More »Mossad Pronounces New Election-Fixing Technology A Success
The section chief praised her staff for completing the project ahead of schedule and under budget. Tel Aviv, November 9 – Developers and project leaders at Israel’s secret intelligence service gathered today to celebrate the first successful field test of ...
Read More »Elitism Isn’t Working, So We’re Going To Keep Trying It
By Isaac Herzog, Labor Party Chairman Last year and this year brought more than their share of electoral surprises. In each case, the left-leaning media lulled us leftists into complacency by predicting a weakening of the Right, if not our ...
Read More »Mideast States Puzzled By Peaceful Transition Of US Presidency
“There’s supposed to be a bloody removal of a brutal, corrupt dictator, followed by a period of uncertainty until a new strongman asserts himself and takes control.” Cairo, November 10 – Egyptian officials publicly welcomed the election of Donald Trump ...
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