Cubans now confront the prospect of constructing a heaven-on-earth without their formidable leader’s dedication to to systematic denial of basic human rights to an entire people. Havana, November 27 – Cuban revolutionary leader Fidel Castro died at age 90 on ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionStupid ‘Muezzin Law’ Says Nothing About Your Goddamn Neighbor’s Alarm Clock
May-Aynei lays partial blame at the feet of the legislators themselves, who tend to live in more spacious accommodations and hear less of the goings-on in neighbors’ homes. Rosh HaAyin, November 23 – Examination of recent legislation to limit the ...
Read More »Couple Boinking Inside IDF Tank Say Serving Together In It Would Just Be Too Awkward
“If we end up spending hours, even days at a time in this thing? Goodbye romance, I can tell you that.” Latrun, November 23 – Two IDF soldiers getting busy inside a Mark-II Merkava Main Battle Tank told reporters today ...
Read More »Early Hanukkah Causes Confusion Among Assimilated Jews
“So do we put presents under the turkey, or what?” Newport News, Virginia (AP) – The relatively early occurrence of Hanukkah this year has sown perplexity among assimilated American Jews, who have become accustomed to combining or confusing the holiday’s ...
Read More »I Hope You All Ignore My Knee-Jerk Accusation Of Arson As I Ridicule Yours
By Zehava Gal-On, Chairwoman, Meretz One of the most irresponsible things to do in response to the wave of wildfires raging throughout the country right now is to reflexively point fingers and blame Arabs for starting the fires. I’m going ...
Read More »BDS Fumes At Padan-Aram Clans For Not Shunning Abraham’s Servant
“Don’t give them your daughter’s hand – Abraham is on our land!” they chanted. Haran, Syrian Mesopotamia, November 24 – Activists and organizations pushing for a boycott of Jewish interests in the Holy Land voiced outrage today at the tribal ...
Read More »Critics: Netanyahu Having Both Facebook Page And Twitter Profile A Conflict Of Interest
“It looks more and more as if Bibi is using his Facebook following to bolster the messaging and following he cultivates on Twitter and vice versa.” Jerusalem, November 23 – Political opponents of Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu have asked the ...
Read More »Seething At Burial Fees, Abraham Buys Own Cemetery For Sarah
“‘Paperwork’ fees? Paper won’t be invented for two thousand years. What a racket.” Hebron, November 23 – The patriarch Abraham decided to buy his own burial ground to bury his late wife after encountering exorbitant prices to inter her in ...
Read More »Licking Election Coverage Wounds, NY Times To Publish Column By ISIS Leader
“A direct encounter with what these people have to say is preferable than to have it filtered through the lens of our editorial sensibilities.” New York, November 22 – A post-election assessment of the slanted coverage the publication produced during ...
Read More »Dead Sea Scroll Fragments Just Boy Practicing Forging Mom’s Signature
It remains unknown whether the boy ever succeeded in his quest. Qumran, Judean Desert, November 21 – Scholars exploring the remaining pieces of ancient parchment not included in the formal collection of writings known as the Dead Sea Scrolls have ...
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