A Russian bombing campaign in the Gaza Strip would enable the use of far more brutal and destructive – and therefore effective – methods than the IDF allows itself to employ. Tel Aviv, October 19 – The relative equanimity with ...
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Feed SubscriptionKids Excited To Move Fights From House To Sukkah
The children, ages two through fifteen, did not break stride as they transitioned from fighting over the presence of unwanted siblings in their bedrooms to fighting over whose turn it is to use the red sleeping bag. Jerusalem, October 18 ...
Read More »Those Fair Maidens From All Over My Empire Were Asking For It
By Ahashverosh, Emperor of Perso-Media I’m an accomplished man. You don’t get to rule a vast empire – from India to Ethiopia, as they say, a hundred-twenty-seven provinces – without political and economic acumen. I’ve got that in spades. Naturally, ...
Read More »UN Condemns Prague Golem As Violation Of Pillagers’ Rights
Representatives of the local clergy expressed satisfaction at the decision. Geneva, October 13 – The United Nations Human Rights Council held a session today on the Prague Jewish community’s use of a golem to defend against massacres by the non-Jewish ...
Read More »UNESCO Infuriates Palestinians By Calling Genocidal Ambitions ‘Syrian’
“We basically invented airplane hijacking as a political tool, but to hear UNESCO tell it, that was just a bunch of Syrians.” Paris, October 13 – On the heels of celebrating a decision by the United Nations Educational, Social, and ...
Read More »Knesset Security Gearing Up For 120 Clown Sightings
The ten-dozen-plus clowns are supposed to be there, possibly as a way of keeping them off the streets and frightening even more people – at least that’s what the electorate seems to want. Jerusalem, October 13 – Israel’s parliamentary security ...
Read More »Heavenly Academics Say Custom To Wear White On Yom Kippur ‘Appropriation’
“A day for attaining atonement for one’s offenses could hardly be more egregiously violated than by spending the entire time clothed in stolen styles.” Supernal realms, October 11 – The angelic souls of professors and career scholars of the humanities ...
Read More »Expert Warns Video Games Might Turn Palestinians Violent
“I hope I do not live to see the day when Palestinian society has been so saturated and overcome with such invidious values that our youth – and many adults – default to violence when they encounter adversity.” Ramallah, October ...
Read More »White House Opens Tent Of Mourning For Jerusalem Shooter
The family will be represented at the White House Tent of Mourning by the Palestine Liberation Organization’s ambassador to Washington. Washington, October 10 – The White House moved today to show solidarity with the family of a Palestinian man shot ...
Read More »Trump Objectifies Women, Says Paper With Semi-Nudes On Front Page
The reality TV personality apologized for his remarks and the hurt they caused, whereas the Yediot Aharonot editorial board has yet to exhibit the necessary self-awareness. Tel Aviv, October 9 – Israel’s second-most-popular daily reported today on Donald Trump’s recorded ...
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