The ten-dozen-plus clowns are supposed to be there, possibly as a way of keeping them off the streets and frightening even more people – at least that’s what the electorate seems to want. Jerusalem, October 13 – Israel’s parliamentary security ...
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Feed SubscriptionHeavenly Academics Say Custom To Wear White On Yom Kippur ‘Appropriation’
“A day for attaining atonement for one’s offenses could hardly be more egregiously violated than by spending the entire time clothed in stolen styles.” Supernal realms, October 11 – The angelic souls of professors and career scholars of the humanities ...
Read More »Expert Warns Video Games Might Turn Palestinians Violent
“I hope I do not live to see the day when Palestinian society has been so saturated and overcome with such invidious values that our youth – and many adults – default to violence when they encounter adversity.” Ramallah, October ...
Read More »White House Opens Tent Of Mourning For Jerusalem Shooter
The family will be represented at the White House Tent of Mourning by the Palestine Liberation Organization’s ambassador to Washington. Washington, October 10 – The White House moved today to show solidarity with the family of a Palestinian man shot ...
Read More »Trump Objectifies Women, Says Paper With Semi-Nudes On Front Page
The reality TV personality apologized for his remarks and the hurt they caused, whereas the Yediot Aharonot editorial board has yet to exhibit the necessary self-awareness. Tel Aviv, October 9 – Israel’s second-most-popular daily reported today on Donald Trump’s recorded ...
Read More »Obama To Just Install ATM To US Treasury In Tehran
A steady supply of currency for the ATMs was made possible late last week when the Obama administration allowed Iran access to the US dollar. Washington, October 9 – Following months of awkwardness over the propriety and necessity of shipping pallets ...
Read More »If You Don’t Stop Bombing Aleppo, I’ll Threaten To Make Threats!
By John Kerry, US Secretary of State President Putin, the time has come for a fateful decision. Either you want to pursue a resolution of the Syrian conflict by diplomatic means, or you do not. But whichever choice you make, ...
Read More »Zionist Union Still Looking For Way To Show Hurricane Matthew Bibi’s Fault
“If Herzog and Livni are serious about standing a chance in the next election, they had better agree exactly which loony anti-Bibi conspiracy theory to promote.” Tel Aviv, October 7 – Leaders of the opposition Zionist Union faction in the ...
Read More »Single Man Bewildered By Lack Of Yom Kippur Lunch Invitations
“I hope this isn’t personal.” Jerusalem, October 6 – A local resident who customarily accepts the hospitality of various families in the neighborhood for Sabbath and festival meals voiced confusion today over the disappearance of such willing hosts for the ...
Read More »Children Banned From Holy Temple After Walls Covered In Boogers
The announcement has thrown many pilgrims’ plans into disarray. Jerusalem, October 6 – This year’s observance of the Day of Atonement at the Holy Temple will take place without children under the age of 14, the Temple Administration has announced, ...
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