Principal Aiwil Qillem was unavailable for comment. Khan Yunis, September 5 – A week into the academic year, a sophomore at the local UNRWA secondary school has discovered that two of his courses in raising the next generation of terrorists ...
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Feed SubscriptionJohnny Depp To Give Scarves To Palestinians To Use As Slingshots
“The ones Palestinians have been using since way back in the First Intifada of the late 1980’s are a fashion faux pas.” Los Angeles, September 5 – The award-winning actor who portrayed Edward Scissorhands, Willy Wonka, Captain Jack Sparrow, and ...
Read More »Sweden Seeks Volunteers To Be Raped, Make Refugees Feel Welcome
“The best thing we can do for these people seeking a better life is to emulate the places they are fleeing as closely as possible.” Stockholm, September 4 – The Swedish Ministry of Justice and Migration has launched a program to ...
Read More »Israel Treats Us Horri- HEY! Stop Them! They’re Doing Good Things For Us!
By Mohammad Shtayyeh, Fatah official The sins of the Occupation continue to degrade us and make our lives miserable. The evil Zionist imperialists must be stopped, because their brutal policies do not allow us even to- hey, what’s going on? ...
Read More »Arab MK: If I Can Have Multiple Wives, I Should Get Multiple Votes
“The Knesset should count my votes many times, since I am performing the role of multiple men.” Jerusalem, August 31 – A member of the Joint List alliance of Arab parties in the Knesset has demanded that the State show ...
Read More »No One Clamoring For Removal Of ISIS’s Google+ Pages
To do so would require that users encounter those pages, which in turn requires that such users exist. Mountain View, CA, August 31 – Executives at Google have noted that whereas controversy has erupted for years over the use of ...
Read More »Strip Club Installs Mechitza To Attract Orthodox Clientele
“I did a little research on their lifestyle, and we’re moving forward with what I’ve learned.” New York, September 1 – A local gentlemen’s club has erected a barrier to separate female patrons from the males in order to cater ...
Read More »Media Demand Triple Wages For Serving As Judge, Jury, Executioner
“We are performing three valuable roles, and should therefore receive three times the payment.” Tel Aviv, September 1 – Israeli and foreign journalists issued coordinated statements today asserting that their constant performance of the duties of judge, jury, and executioner ...
Read More »Intelligence Budget Increases To Overcome Haaretz Paywall
A glance through Haaretz is as good as having a man on the ground in Pakistan, Sudan, or Iran. Tel Aviv, August 31 – Israeli defense and intelligence officials told reporters today that a reserve in the current budget for ...
Read More »Penn & Teller To Revive ‘Bulls**t!’ To Debunk Palestinian Claims
“We’ve always had a nagging sense that we needed to go back and tackle this topic.” Las Vegas, August 30 – A duo of prominent stage magicians known for their outspoken stances on political issues and for their vocal support ...
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