“It has to be just credible enough – we do have some journalistic standards,” explained Ann T. Semitt of the Jerusalem bureau. Safed, September 7 – The British Broadcasting Corporation is holding off on production of a segment on injured ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionReport: Biblical Deluge Caused By Zionists Opening Dams
Among other evidence, Dr. Tzidibba pointed to the notion of collective punishment that informs both stories, and the fraught relationship the survivors tended to have with alcoholic beverages. Mt. Ararat, September 7 – A new investigation into the flood that ...
Read More »Imam To Lead Customary Security Council Reading Of Mein Kampf
“This way we can allow the values we share to shine through.” New York, September 8 – In what organizers are calling a manifestation of religious tolerance, for the first time a Muslim religious leader will ceremonially introduce a session of ...
Read More »Whew. We Almost Had Actual Elections There For A Moment
By Mahmoud Abbas, President, Palestinian Authority It’s been more than ten years since the last time local elections were held in the Palestinian Authority, and we just got dangerously close to having them happen again. That won’t do. Nothing that ...
Read More »Workers At Ministry Of NSFW Forced To Work From Home
“I can’t even get my staff together in one room, let alone hold a meeting with different groups.” complained a section supervisor. Jerusalem, September 7 – Employees at the government ministry handling all not-safe-for-work materials on the internet remain unable ...
Read More »Assad Again Uses Poison Gas; ‘Oh, That Basher,’ Chuckles World
“Oh, that Basher,” they chuckled and shook their heads. “He doesn’t play by anyone else’s rules.” Aleppo, September 7 – Embattled Syrian President Basher Assad’s forces deployed chemical weapons against insurgents in this ancient city once more this week, prompting ...
Read More »Palestinian Talmud Appropriated By Jews
“They even call it the ‘Jerusalem’ Talmud, as if that somehow makes it Jewish.” Jerusalem, September 6 – Advanced Jewish scholars have been studying and claiming as their own an ancient work called the Palestinian Talmud, in what Palestinian activists ...
Read More »Student’s Intransigence Class Conflicts With Dehumanization Of Jews
Principal Aiwil Qillem was unavailable for comment. Khan Yunis, September 5 – A week into the academic year, a sophomore at the local UNRWA secondary school has discovered that two of his courses in raising the next generation of terrorists ...
Read More »Johnny Depp To Give Scarves To Palestinians To Use As Slingshots
“The ones Palestinians have been using since way back in the First Intifada of the late 1980’s are a fashion faux pas.” Los Angeles, September 5 – The award-winning actor who portrayed Edward Scissorhands, Willy Wonka, Captain Jack Sparrow, and ...
Read More »Sweden Seeks Volunteers To Be Raped, Make Refugees Feel Welcome
“The best thing we can do for these people seeking a better life is to emulate the places they are fleeing as closely as possible.” Stockholm, September 4 – The Swedish Ministry of Justice and Migration has launched a program to ...
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