“Our ancestors used the fax, possibly as far back as the time of the Judges.” Hills of Samaria, July 31 – When the New Moon is proclaimed by the Court of Seventy Elders in Jerusalem later this week, agents of the ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionIsraeli Entrepreneurs Increase Export Sales Of Blinders To EU, US
“Our chief competition is the shovel industry.” Hertzliya, July 26 – Israeli manufacturers of devices meant to restrict the vision of the wearer have noticed a marked uptick in sales of their products to countries recently experiencing increased terrorist attacks ...
Read More »Hamas Accidentally Digs Wrong Way, Floods Tunnels With Seawater
Fighters, workers, and child laborers scurried out of the passages via shafts in homes, mosques, schools, and public health facilities. Khan Younis Refugee Camp, July 27 – Hundreds of Hamas personnel and civilian workers in the underground system crisscrossing this ...
Read More »Me Have Solution To Arab-Israeli Conflict
By Cookie Monster People think just because me a monster, me not have sophisticated view of world. They also think because me focused on cookies, me not give due consideration to weighty issues. People make big mistake. Me have ideas ...
Read More »BDSers Clash With DNC Protesters Over Buying Israeli Flags To Burn
“You can’t use those!” they yelled. “Every time you buy one you support Occupation!” Philadelphia, July 28 – Demonstrators outside the Democratic National Convention at the Wells Fargo Center in the City of Brotherly Love became enmeshed in a vociferous ...
Read More »Rival Benefactors Feud Over Dedication Plaques In Tabernacle
All insist they obtained exclusive rights to having an inscription in their names etched into the side of the Holy Ark. Wilderness of Sinai, July 27 – Tensions continue to simmer among the Israelites this week as several wealthy families ...
Read More »Mideast Leaders Can’t Stop Laughing At ‘Consent Of The Governed’ Wikipedia Page
“You cannot seriously tell me people entertain this as a genuine, operative political concept.” Ankara, July 27 – Heads of numerous Arab and Muslim countries spent time Wednesday finding comic relief in an online encyclopedia entry that discusses the notion ...
Read More »Rabbi Fills In At DNC After Khamenei Declines To Offer Benediction
Khamenei declined to offer a reason for his eleventh-hour cancellation. Philadelphia, July 26 – Viewers, attendees, and participants in the first evening of the Democratic National Convention experienced some moments of disorder and unpredictability, but organizers confessed that the smooth ...
Read More »Amid Software Failure, Haaretz Must Manually Generate Anti-Israel Headlines
“All I can say is we’re working on it,” said a worried Amos Schocken, the paper’s publisher. Tel Aviv, July 25 – Two days into a malfunction of one of the publication’s most intensively-used applications, the organization’s staff has been ...
Read More »Teacher No Longer Accepting ‘The Occupation’ As Homework Excuse
“We cannot allow this man to continue to poison the minds of our children.” Nablus, July 25 – Parents and students at the Yasser Arafat Primary School expressed outrage today that a fourth-grade teacher at the institution now refuses to excuse missed ...
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