By Nevuzaradan, Babylonian General Men, we’re on the brink of a breakthrough. One final push today and we can breach the fortifications of Jerusalem. These Jews have given Emperor Nebuchadnezzar more than a handful’s worth of trouble for years already, ...
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“We’re not blessed the way Earth is with a minority that can be conveniently and universally blamed for all ills.” Kepler-62f, Lyra constellation, July 24 – The inhabitants of this rocky spheroid in orbit around the star Kepler-62 have been ...
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“I see this drive as a metaphor for our situation and our aspirations.” Tel Aviv, July 20 – Leaders of the left-wing party Meretz launched a new membership drive today to bolster the movement’s stagnant rolls, promising to exempt from ...
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“The openness of Iranian authorities to free Jewish political and religious expression far outstrips that of neighboring Jordan, Bahrain, and Saudi Arabia.” Meshed, Islamic Republic of Iran, July 19 – The approximately twenty thousand Jews living in Iran today enjoy religious ...
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Several large Christian congregations sent delegations to the fair to reinforce the myths their communities have always assumed to be true. New York, NY – The Jacob Javits Convention Center was filled to capacity on Sunday as thousands of non-Jews ...
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“We can probably rely on him just this once without inquiring whether everything is Badatz.” Oaks of Mamre – The trio of divine messengers tasked with engaging Abraham’s hospitality and informing him he will father a son with his wife ...
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“Have your Bic Mac with a side – with a side of genocide!” Tel Aviv, July 21 – Advocates for a ban on the consumption of animal flesh criticized the fast-food chain McDonald’s today for encouraging its customers to promote ...
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“Are bakeries in Gaza using a mixture of half flour and half sawdust?” Leningrad, Soviet Russia, July 20 – Residents of this city on the Baltic besieged by the Wehrmacht voiced outrage today upon being informed that Palestinian advocates would ...
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By Mustafa Rehzi, ISIS Recruiter Men, we have met the enemy and they are confused. Those Western infidel pigs cannot decide whether they are at war. That makes it easier for us to plan attacks, but it diminishes some of ...
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“The instability and piracy of Somalia will probably mean a double dose of ICBMs.” New York, July 19 – The United Nations Security Council voted 12-3 today to accept a joint European-American proposal to bring the horrific violent conflicts in ...
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