By God It never ceases to amaze Me how you humans get hold of an idea and force everything else to fit that idea, no matter how bloody or unpleasant the consequences. It also amuses me to no end (I ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionExperts: Israelites Asked For Meat Because Didn’t Know About Pizza
Only with that understanding, say the investigators, can one adequately account for their utter failure to request what is manifestly the finest non-miraculous food in existence. Kivrot HaTaava, June 16 – Analysts reviewing the recent behavior of the Israelites in ...
Read More »Joint List Denounces Terrorism Law As Discriminatory Against Terrorists
“An act of blatant discrimination against the population of terrorists living under Israeli rule.” Jerusalem, June 16 – Members of the Joint Arab List alliance in the Knesset condemned yesterday’s passage of a law toughening penalties for people convicted of ...
Read More »Man In Traffic Jam Does Civic Duty: Honks At Driver In Front Of Him
“I just did what I was supposed to do,” the father of three later recalled. Jerusalem, June 15 – A driver on his way into Israel’s capital today reacted with civic responsibility upon encountering a lineup of vehicles waiting to ...
Read More »Israel To Publish Porn Surfing Habits Of Hezbollah, Hamas Leaders
“Many don’t realize that we developed most, if not all, of the fixes out there that are marketed or portrayed as methods to defeat tracking, precisely as a method of conducting that tracking.” Herzeliya, June 15 – Israeli military and ...
Read More »Study: Some Of Sanders Best Friends Jewish
“This should be useful,” said Donald Drumpf, a New York businessman with a keen interest in demographic studies. Burlington, June 14 – A recent examination of the various social relationships involving Senator Bernie Sanders indicates that a number of his ...
Read More »Assad Wondering Why Orlando Shooter Used Guns, Not Barrel Bombs
“Guns have nowhere near the effectiveness of the bombs in terms of raw killing capacity.” Damascus, June 13 – The government of Syria issued its official statement this morning on yesterday’s Orlando nightclub shooting, including President Basher Assad’s expression of ...
Read More »We Have To Co-Opt The Orlando Shooting For Palestine Without Supporting Gays
By Mahmoud Abbas, Palestinian President As with every other major tragedy, our task as Palestinian leaders and advocates is to tie our struggle in with the victims of the Orlando night club massacre, but in this case we have to ...
Read More »Naomi Returns To Bethlehem; Last Time Jew Does So Without Military Escort
The pair entered the town by themselves, causing a stir. Bethlehem, Judah, June 7 – The widow of the late tribal leader Elimelech came back to her hometown today after ten years in the land of Moab, marking the final ...
Read More »Report: Visiting Site Of Attack Not Cynical If Left Does It
“This research demonstrates what certain public figures have been claiming for some time,” said lead author Shelly Yechimovich. Tel Aviv, June 9 – A new study published today in a scientific journal indicates that when right-wing politicians visit the site ...
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