“Providing quality journalism is not cheap, and what Haaretz does costs money, too.” Tel Aviv, June 6 – To maintain the ideological consistency of its online platform and to boost its struggling bottom line, the Haaretz newspaper’s web site will ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionLeft Insists Hezekiah Give Half Of Jerusalem To Assyrians
“Let’s face it, in any case, the Assyrians are a demographic time bomb.” Jerusalem, June 5 – Leaders of the self-styled Peace Camp in the Kingdom of Judah are urging King Hezekiah to surrender half of the capital city to ...
Read More »Fatwa: Depicting Israel Forbidden, As Negev Shape Too Erotic
“There is a violation of modesty, often in public, that occurs when one displays such an image.” Cairo, June 5 – A new religious ruling by one of the Muslim world’s leading clerics makes it a violation of Islamic principles ...
Read More »IDF Cadet Pretty Sure He Missed Knife-Planting Portion Of Training
His commanders have not exhibited understanding, or taken his complaint seriously. Camp Schneller, June 4 – Private (First Class) Lior Amedi expressed near-certainty today that his basic training regimen for the combat unit he will soon join did not include ...
Read More »Community Has Kosher-Style Food, Moral-Style Behavior
“I don’t so much give my congregation moral guidance as I do moral-style guidance.” Snellville, Georgia – In this suburb of Atlanta, Temple Beth David’s Reform Jewish congregation offers a full range of religious-style services, bringing Jewish-style worship to Gwinnett County. ...
Read More »Brooklyn Co-Op To Aid Syrian People With Shipment Of Kale
Few Syrians have access to kale. Park Slope, June 1 – A group of socially-conscious, politically-aware Brooklyn residents have decided to help alleviate the suffering of the embattled Syrian people by collecting their excess leafy greens and donating them to ...
Read More »UK Labour Sea Bed Survey Finds No Evidence Of Antisemitism
“We can now put this unfortunate episode behinds us,” intoned Corbyn. London, June 2 – A study of the sea floor commissioned by the Labour Party to look for evidence of bias against Jews has concluded that the phenomenon does ...
Read More »It’s OK Children, The Media Will Never Accuse Us Palestinians Of Lying
By Mustafa Mustashi, Ramallah schoolteacher All right, class, settle down. I’ve been hearing a lot of talk lately about lying, about getting caught lying, and the consequences of lying. So I want to make one thing perfectly clear to each ...
Read More »Haredim Seek to Censor Rainbow from Noah Story; ‘Gay Symbol’
“We know how dangerous images can be, and we’re not going to allow the Gay Agenda to dictate people’s understanding of Holy Writ.” Bnei Brak, June 1 – In anticipation of the annual Tel Aviv Gay Pride parade, a coalition of ...
Read More »Israeli Communists Oddly Silent About Venezuela Collapse
“We need their informed take on why what’s happening in Venezuela is actually a positive thing.” Jerusalem, June 1 – Members of Maki, Israel’s Communist Party, have offered little to no comment on the current crisis in Communist Venezuela, where ...
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