Hundreds are injured annually as a result of people being That Guy. Jerusalem, May 28 – Increasing public health dangers have prompted the Ministry of Health to issue a warning to individual Israelis not to be That Guy, a ministry ...
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Feed SubscriptionHerzog Still Stalking Netanyahu On Facebook
Herzog has also been observed trying to make a show in Netanyahu’s presence of having a healthy alliance with other MKs. Tel Aviv, May 25 – The week after an acrimonious end to negotiations between Likud and Labor over the formation ...
Read More »Man Insists You Take Bible Literally So He Can Disprove Your Religion
“Back in the day, nobody ever used ‘day’ to mean anything other than a twenty-four hour period.” Minneapolis, May 26 – Local computer technician David Borders knows your belief system is untenable because your holy scriptures can only be understood literally, ...
Read More »Abbas To Convene Estates General
“It will be helpful to His Highness King Abbas to consult with hoi polloi and then do as he pleases to preserve his power.” Versailles, Palestinian Autonomous Territories, May 25 – Faced with an increasing gap between the economic fortunes ...
Read More »IDF Reminds Soldiers Not To Leave Base Without Towel On May 25
An IDF-issue towel of the appropriate color will replace the requisite beret. Tel Aviv, May 25 – The IDF senior command and officials at the Ministry of Defense issued a reminder today that all personnel are to keep on their ...
Read More »Sanders Not Sure He’s Made His Tolerance For Terrorism Clear Enough
“Have we been consistently on message in that respect?” Burlington, May 24 – Senator Bernie Sanders told campaign staff last night that he still has concerns that he had not made his acceptance of Islamic terrorism sufficiently plain to the electorate, ...
Read More »Liberman Sneaks ‘No Brown M&Ms’ Clause Into Coalition Agreement
He hopes to be able to invoke it if the government’s policies and legislation in the coming months do not reflect his wishes. Jerusalem, May 23 – Prospective Minister of Defense Avigdor Liberman managed to surreptitiously insert a passage into ...
Read More »The Opposition May Choose A New Leader. It’s So Cute.
By Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu The Labor Party, not to mention the Zionist Union faction and the Opposition in general, is in the throes of debate over whether Labor chief Buji Herzog should remain the leader of the Opposition – ...
Read More »To Confuse BDS, Israeli Promoters Advertising Made-Up Acts
Bimot is currently laying the groundwork for a supposed performance in Israel by a nonexistent man named Elton John. Tel Aviv, May 22 – Israeli concert promoters sent former Pink Floyd front man and current promoter of an artistic boycott ...
Read More »Samson Nearly Takes Jawbone From BBC Reporter Instead Of An Ass
“It was an understandable mix-up,” said a spokesangel for the supernal realms. Lehi, Dan tribal territory, May 22 – A fearsome Israelite warrior facing a large number of Philistine fighters was unable to tell the difference between a donkey and ...
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