By Fatima Saidi, EgyptAir Customer Service Representative Good morning, sir. How can I be of service today? Yes, I understand. Have you reviewed our refund policy? Good, good. Then let me file your request for a- oh, wait. This might not ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionNew IDF Rules Call For 8 Weeks’ Counseling Before Opening Fire
Four of the counselors are in Bnei Brak. Tel Aviv, March 28 – In the wake of an incident in which an IDF soldier allegedly shot and killed a Palestinian attacker who had already been incapacitated, the Israeli military has ...
Read More »Trump: Uninvited Guests Will Pay For Wall To Keep Them Out Of Bris
“It’ll be an amazing wall, just the greatest wall you’ve ever seen. Huge,” he added. New York, March 28 – Real estate magnate and Republican Party presidential hopeful Donald Trump promised family and friends today that only certain people would ...
Read More »Palestinians Arrest Man For Smuggling In Government Transparency
Israelis seem to traffic in the stuff more than anyone else in the region, and the authorities view such dealings as suspect. Ramallah, March 27 – A mid-level official at the Palestinian Ministry of the Interior has been detained and ...
Read More »Woman At Nudist Resort Told To Stop Breastfeeding In Public
Guests had mixed reactions to the episode. Kibbutz Ein B’gadim, Israel, March 27 – A mother nursing her baby at this naturist facility on the Mediterranean was confronted by representatives of the administration for doing so in full view of ...
Read More »After Brussels Attacks, Europe Promises Stronger Cowardice
“We know better than to let a fascist ideology creep across the continent without taking forceful measures of abject surrender in response.” Brussels, March 23 – The deadly terrorist attacks in the Belgian capital Tuesday have sparked a fierce desire across ...
Read More »Haaretz Slams Netanyahu Over Haman’s Extermination Plot
“This is the indisputable result of an immature, intrusive, and arrogant campaign by the prime minister to manipulate American politics.” Tel Aviv, March 24 – The editorial board at Haaretz laced into Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu this morning, accusing him ...
Read More »Flesh Of Palestinian Children Makes A Superior Hamantasch Filling
By Anne London, Jewish cuisine expert Jerusalem, March 23 – Just in time for Purim, I’m here to share with you some Secrets of the Zionist Kitchen, the only program that uses the clandestine strategies and pursuits of the infamous Jewish ...
Read More »Human Rights Watch: Allowing Jews To Defend Selves Would Violate Haman’s Rights
“The kingdom has a lot riding on the original Kill the Jews and Take Everything They Have decree.” Susa, Persian Empire, March 22 – The director of a prominent rights organization cautioned against allowing Grand Vizier Haman’s genocidal decree to ...
Read More »Church Historians Discover St. John Not Named After Toilet
The beginning of the confusion lies in ancient manuscripts called the Dead Pee Scrolls. Rome, March 21 – Upending one of the longest-held assumptions in ecclesiastical scholarship, the Roman Catholic Church announced this morning that it had officially refuted the ...
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