“We would have made the same decision if Baleedi were riding in a Volkswagen,” said General Moe Terrs, a Pentagon spokesman. Sanaa, Yemen, February 4 – The world’s largest auto manufacturer announced its intention today to take the United States ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionCBS Joins Competition, Opens Distorted Israel Headlines Dept.
It will no longer leave the tendentious headline-writing only to the likes of CNN, The New York TImes, Reuters, AP, Agence France-Presse, The Guardian, The Times of London, and Al Jazeera. New York, February 3 – The Columbia Broadcasting Corporation took a ...
Read More »Haaretz Writer Fails To Hit Weekly Quota Of ‘Fascist’, ‘McCarthyist’
Measures in case of further violations include the removal of Shakran’s access to articles pre-written by left-wing NGOs. Tel Aviv, February 3 – A journalist at Israel’s most prestigious newspaper has been disciplined for not meeting the publisher’s mandated minimum number ...
Read More »Meretz Still Living February 2, 1993
“An inability to assimilate the fact that the assumptions of the pre-Oslo, pre-Gaza-Disengagement eras have been thoroughly debunked by reality.” Tel Aviv, February 2 – Neurologists have diagnosed one of Israel’s premier left-wing parties as suffering from a rare condition ...
Read More »Teach The Kids Jews Are Pigs? But This Is A Math Class
By Al Jebra, arithmetic teacher, Yasser Arafat Elementary School, Hebron I’ve been an arithmetic teacher here in Hebron for seven years. I’ve eminently qualified to stand before my students in that classroom down the hall and impart to them the ...
Read More »Supervillain Concerned Hamas Tunnels Getting Near His Underground Lair
“I hope I don’t need to cause anymore tunnel collapses. The one last week was only because they got too close.” 800 meters underground somewhere near Suja’iya, February 1 – A criminal mastermind who maintains a secret facility far below Earth’s ...
Read More »Jesus Keeps Turning Muhammad’s Water Into Wine
“If I have to listen to that brat crow one more time about ambushing me with a Polaroid and depicting my likeness, I’m going to snap.” Heaven, January 31 – The founder of Islam has submitted a grievance to the ...
Read More »At Least 45 Dead In Unimportant, Non-Israel-Inflicted Bombing
“By reacting to this event I have already departed from my self-imposed ratio of two anti-Israel tweets for every non-Israel-related tweet.” Damascus, January 31 – At least 45 people were killed and dozens more injured in a suburb of the Syrian ...
Read More »Kerry To Female Staff: Wear Burkhas When I Phone Zarif
Kerry will also examine the benefits of removing the Israeli flag from the lobby of the State Department. Washington, January 30 – US Secretary of State John Kerry ordered the women among his office’s staff to don modest attire in ...
Read More »Boy Who Stabbed Cites UN Chief: ‘Human Nature To React To Homework’
The boy’s attorney, Zehavi Gal-Un, blamed the Minister of Education for the incident. Kfar Sava, January 27 – Inspired by United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon’s refusal to condemn Palestinian stabbing attacks on Israelis, a high school senior accused of attacking his ...
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