“He’s got the good spot in front of the good building in the good neighborhood.” Tel Aviv, December 24 – Nearly a week after he attended a pair of shows by his son’s best friend in this Mediterranean city, Frank ...
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Feed SubscriptionLivni Proposes Negotiations, Concessions To ‘Hilltop Youth’
She stressed the importance of strengthening the moderates among them. Jerusalem, December 24 – The head of the Hatnuah Party, a member of the Opposition’s Zionist Union alliance, said this morning that the government should pursue a negotiated settlement with the ...
Read More »Consultant: Stabbers Should Skip Middle Man, Just Shoot Selves
“These recommendations are bound to encounter opposition not necessarily on their merits, but simply because they are new.” Jerusalem, December 23 – An efficiency consultant studying Palestinian societal practices issued a report today examining its policies and suggesting changes, including having those ...
Read More »Only Immigrants And Terrorists Need To Pee
By Donald Trump, terrific, amazing billionaire We have to make America great again. Vote for me to become president and we’ll get there faster than you can say, “Multiple bankruptcies.” It’ll be amazing. You’ll never need to pee again. Only ...
Read More »S-400 Missiles Keep Santa Away From Mideast
“Everyone remembers when Turkey almost shot down Prancer and Dancer two years ago,” said aviation consultant Gary Powers. Latakia, Syria, December 22 – A spokesman for Santa Claus informed children in the Eastern Mediterranean region that he will be forced ...
Read More »Obama Admin Insists Deal Gives Iran Right To Confiscate American Guns
Keeping Iran happy is key to Obama’s strategy of enlisting them in the campaign against the Islamic State. Washington, December 21 – President Barack Obama’s administration is interpreting the recent nuclear agreement with Iran so broadly that it gives the ...
Read More »Israel Letting Dihydrogen Monoxide Flow Into Palestinian Towns
“Dihydrogen monoxide is the cause of deaths for countless people by drowning, electrocution, bodily trauma, and infection, among others,” declared a recent report by Human Rights Watch. Iata, near Hebron, December 21 – Every winter, Sami Abu Jizz knows he must withstand a ...
Read More »Tel Aviv S&M Subculture Torn Over Gag Orders
“… but on the other hand, right where my watch would be, I’ve got these welts from the handcuffs…” Tel Aviv, December 20 – Members of this Mediterranean city’s sexual sadomasochism scene say they are of two minds about court-imposed gag ...
Read More »Meretz Was Kind Of Hoping To Recruit Samir Kuntar
Kuntar would have brought a valuable perspective born of spending so many years behind bars in the company of people who generally have no real voice in Israel’s parliamentary politics. Tel Aviv, December 20 – Leaders of the Meretz Party ...
Read More »Frustrated By Israeli Restraint, Hamas To Provoke Russia Instead
Putin would cause much more destruction and death in Gaza than the Israeli military, if provoked properly. Gaza City, December 16 – Stymied in its efforts to undermine enemy legitimacy by engineering large numbers of civilian casualties, the militant group ...
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