By Ahmad Al-Hajj Nobody ever said marriage was easy. Even in a male-dominated, patriarchal society such as ours, there is no substitute for a romantic relationship with a woman who chooses to love you despite – or perhaps because of – ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionSunni, Shia, Continue War Over Who Represents Religion Of Peace
Early, peaceful military conquest of a large expanse in a short time cemented Islam’s claim as the religion of peace. Sanaa, Yemen, December 17 – Opposing factions in a regional war continued to engage today in attempts to attain supremacy in ...
Read More »Hitler Miffed At Holocaust Deniers Denying Him His Glory
“If they like and admire me so much, as they claim, why do they do that?” Umpteenth Circle of Hell, December 17 – Former leader of Nazi Germany Adolph Hitler expressed disgust and exasperation at people who seek to deny ...
Read More »Sarlacc Discovered In Arabian Desert
An article in the journal Large Unusual Creatures in Asia-Southwest (LUCAS), due out next week, describes the process by which the researchers found and identified the Sarlacc. Jedda, December 16 – Zoologists have uncovered the first known specimen on Earth ...
Read More »Trump Postpones Israel Trip; Ynet Trolls Mourn Chance To See Their God
“Bibi’s no Trump, and the trolls know that.” Givatayim, Israel, December 16 – Subtlety-free, bigoted loudmouths who dominate the comments section on the Ynet news site voiced their disappointment this week at Donald Trump postponing his announced trip to Israel later ...
Read More »‘Breaking The Silence’ Rep Breaks Non-Pretend Silence By Farting
“There must have been something in the air,” recalled a waitress. Jerusalem, December 15 – An activist with an organization that claims to highlight instances of abuse by IDF soldiers that have been hushed up managed to disrupt a genuine ...
Read More »Palestinians Attain Strategic Objective Of Running Over Key Toddler
Infan Tissyde, an expert on asymmetrical warfare with Jane’s, said the Palestinians would likely try within a day or two to press the advantage the coup has created. Jerusalem, December 14 – Palestinian leaders voiced gratification Monday evening after a terrorist ...
Read More »Tolerance Is So Important To Us, We’ll Even Tolerate Intolerance*
*especially of Jews By Western Europe If there is one thing Europe has learned from its bloody history, it is the supreme value of tolerance. Centuries of near-constant warfare, fed by religion, ethnicity, politics, and competition finally grew so destructive ...
Read More »Study: Hanukkah Shows Jews Hate Olives, Proves They Felled Trees
Jews practice the ritual burning of olive oil in increasing quantities each night over the course of the eight-day festival each year. Hebron, December 13 – A new report by the Balestinian Academy for Linking Despised Enemies to Reprehensible Deviance And ...
Read More »UK To Attack Islamist Militant Stronghold Of ‘France’
If successful, the bombing campaign will be expanded to other Islamist strongholds, such as Belgium and Sweden. London, December 9 – British Prime Minister David Cameron announced plans this afternoon to send the Royal Air Force to conduct airstrikes against ...
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