“My operation is perfectly positioned, if you will, to exploit this situation.” Raanana, January 11 – A local resident has applied for a grant from the European Commission to help him fund hid efforts to expose his backside at IDF ...
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Feed SubscriptionHerzog Diagnosed With Amnesia Of Violence During Labor Governments
The country has not elected a Labor government since 1998. Jerusalem, January 11 – Physicians have confirmed that Labor Party and Opposition leader Isaac Herzog is suffering from a form of selective amnesia that only makes him forget the deadly terrorism against ...
Read More »There’s Still Time To Record Fatah Bribes As 2015 Income
By Akru Walbaissis, CPA, Palestinian Tax Authority The calendar already says 2016, but for us accountants, the work on 2015 has barely begun. If you haven’t filed the proper documentation for the bribes or kickbacks you gave Fatah officials last ...
Read More »Unlike Foes, Israel Stupidly Not Starving Its Enemies
“It’s more than a little puzzling that such a potent, proven tactic is simply not part of the Israeli military toolbox,” observed Jordanian General Krosmiya Naqilya. Tel Aviv, January 10 – Defense experts noted with some surprise today the fact that ...
Read More »Study: Death Penalty Primitive Ritual Unless Imposed By Muslims
An as-yet-unidentified chemical or environmental factor evidently makes the same phenomenon in Arab or Muslim societies far less objectionable. Hebron, January 9 – Research by a team of scientists testing the status of capital punishment has determined unequivocally that under ...
Read More »Btselem: Ratting On Anne Frank Was Following The Law
“What the Frank family, from Otto on down, was doing was nothing less than a crime.” Amsterdam, January 8 – The human rights organization Btselem defended the unknown persons who revealed Anne Frank’s hiding place in this city, saying that ...
Read More »For Next Trick, Iran To Directly Attack US, Get Away With It
Obama will refuse to order retaliation of any sort because of his concern over maintaining the JCPOA agreement. Tehran, January 6 – Officials in Iran’s capital are telling excited followers of its recent dramatic activities that they should stay tuned ...
Read More »N Korea, Hamas To Train Iran In Oppression Of Own People As Leverage
The two nations offer vastly different models for oppression of one’s own as an international political tool. Pyongyang, January 7 – As tensions between Iran and Saudi Arabia heat up, leaders in Teheran have sent delegations to the Gaza Strip ...
Read More »Israelis Shocked That Netflix Not Pronounced ‘Netfleeks’
“I’ve been saying the name wrong. It’s just on the face, on the face.” Tel Aviv, January 7 – With Netflix expanding its service into Israel for the first time as of yesterday, hundreds of thousands of Israelis rushed to ...
Read More »Education Ministry Admits Failure After Masses Misuse The Word ‘Ban’
“Their failure is our failure, and it must be addressed.” Jerusalem, January 6 – Minister of Education Naftali Bennett acknowledged his office’s part in a large segment of the Israeli public not knowing the difference between banning a book and ...
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