“Bibi’s no Trump, and the trolls know that.” Givatayim, Israel, December 16 – Subtlety-free, bigoted loudmouths who dominate the comments section on the Ynet news site voiced their disappointment this week at Donald Trump postponing his announced trip to Israel later ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed Subscription‘Breaking The Silence’ Rep Breaks Non-Pretend Silence By Farting
“There must have been something in the air,” recalled a waitress. Jerusalem, December 15 – An activist with an organization that claims to highlight instances of abuse by IDF soldiers that have been hushed up managed to disrupt a genuine ...
Read More »Palestinians Attain Strategic Objective Of Running Over Key Toddler
Infan Tissyde, an expert on asymmetrical warfare with Jane’s, said the Palestinians would likely try within a day or two to press the advantage the coup has created. Jerusalem, December 14 – Palestinian leaders voiced gratification Monday evening after a terrorist ...
Read More »Tolerance Is So Important To Us, We’ll Even Tolerate Intolerance*
*especially of Jews By Western Europe If there is one thing Europe has learned from its bloody history, it is the supreme value of tolerance. Centuries of near-constant warfare, fed by religion, ethnicity, politics, and competition finally grew so destructive ...
Read More »Study: Hanukkah Shows Jews Hate Olives, Proves They Felled Trees
Jews practice the ritual burning of olive oil in increasing quantities each night over the course of the eight-day festival each year. Hebron, December 13 – A new report by the Balestinian Academy for Linking Despised Enemies to Reprehensible Deviance And ...
Read More »UK To Attack Islamist Militant Stronghold Of ‘France’
If successful, the bombing campaign will be expanded to other Islamist strongholds, such as Belgium and Sweden. London, December 9 – British Prime Minister David Cameron announced plans this afternoon to send the Royal Air Force to conduct airstrikes against ...
Read More »Terror-Hit Egypt Hopes Tourists Will Just Send Money
“Not having to lay out money for the food, drink, and cleanup that tourists are paying for could give a serious boost to the entire sector.” Sharm al-Sheikh, December 10 – Since a bomb destroyed a Russian passenger jet over the ...
Read More »12 Injured As MKs Trip Over Selves To Condemn Trump
Zionist Union MK Amir Peretz suffered lacerations when his staff mishandled several cutting retorts to Trump. Jerusalem, December 9 – A dozen Members of Knesset and parliamentary aides were hurt today in the rush to denounce Donald Trump’s remarks about Muslims, ...
Read More »Crappy Donut Stores Accuse High-End Shops Of ‘Cultural Appropriation’
“The only real difference between a caramel sufganiyah and a jam-filled one is the color of the junk we pipe into it. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a colonialist, elitist pig.” Jerusalem, December 9 – Longtime sellers of the ...
Read More »Study: One More Attack And Jews Will Abandon Whole Zionist Enterprise
Jews can be frightened away by the mere thought of a Palestinian youth with a kitchen knife, which is why there are only 6 million of them in Israel. Gaza City, December 8 – A new report by the Palestinian ...
Read More »