“The main reason for prohibitions against sexual intercourse in a standing position is the danger that it could become mixed dancing.” Jerusalem, August 18 – Israeli religious leaders on the conservative end of the spectrum continued to voice opposition this ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionUN GoFundMe Syria Death Toll Campaign Almost At 300K Goal
“We’re almost at the point where the Council will have enough motivation to take some action, and that’s quite accomplishment.” Geneva, August 16 – The United Nations Human Rights Council is not ignoring the bloody Syrian conflict, says a representative, ...
Read More »New Lotto Game: Name Next Pretext For Palestinian Violence
It leverages the expertise that every Israeli claims in political and security affairs, and lets them put their money were their mouths are. Tel Aviv, August 17 – Israel’s lottery administration announced a new game today, in which players can bet ...
Read More »IDF Almost Done Testing Airplane Vanishing Device
“We are less than a year away from being able to cause a system failure in almost any civilian aircraft, and a good number of airborne military systems.” Tel Nof Air Force Base, August 16 – Senior commanders in the ...
Read More »Report: Outspoken Right-Wingers Magically Unable To Be Diplomats
The political left, the study notes, holds a monopoly on proper ideology, policy, and advocacy. Jerusalem, August 16 – A study of Israeli political trends has revealed that political figures who unequivocally support right-wing causes and ideologies become, by some ...
Read More »Secret Addendum To Iran Deal Just Obama’s Kenya Birth Certificate
Kerry accused deal opponents of orchestrating the revelation. Vienna, August 12 – Hotel staffers cleaning up after the nuclear negotiations between Iran the p5+1 world powers last month came across what appears to be a secret element of the deal that ...
Read More »Did I Leave The Nuclear Launch Codes In Vienna?
By John Kerry I travel a lot. When a man travels a lot, he’s bound to leave things in various places. Once I left my good razor in Saigon, and a couple of pairs of dress socks in Beijing. I’m ...
Read More »Newly Discovered Talmud Tractate ‘Nahagin’ Bars Backseat Driving
Nahagin apparently lies in the third order of the Mishna’s six divisions, which addresses laws governing male-female relationships. Jerusalem, August 13 – Researchers sifting through fragments from the medieval repository of manuscript remnants called the Cairo Geniza have unearthed a previously ...
Read More »When Syria’s Jews All Gone, Persecution Of Them To End
There will be no Jewish residents of either country barred from holding public office, serving in the army, or wielding authority over non-Jews. Damascus, August 12 – Syria is poised to become a country in which no persecution of Jews ...
Read More »Google To Change Alphabetical Order; Israel Branch Tasked
Google Israel representative Etaoin Shrdlu anticipates that schools, phone companies, and other organizations that depend on alphabetization will almost all adopt the new alphabet order by 2025. Hertzliya, August 12 – Just days after announcing its reorganization under a new ...
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