“Mr. Carter’s good friend is a Norwegian physician who has spent quite a bit of time in Gaza, and assured him that the place is teeming with radioactive fragments from Israel’s profligate use of depleted uranium artillery.” Plains, Georgia, August ...
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Feed SubscriptionAngry Dad: IDF Won’t Rent Out Sniper To Use On Daughter’s Boyfriend
The father was heard to refer to several IDF officers by various unprintable names, and to question, inter alia, their parentage, masculinity, patriotism, morality, courage, intelligence, and mental stability. Kfar Sava, August 21 – A local father flew into a rage today ...
Read More »Country Told To Wait Home 10AM-5PM For Iron Dome Delivery
“Somebody has to be there to sign for it,” said delivery man Rosh Katann. Ashdod, August 20 – In anticipation of rocket fire from the Gaza Strip, the IDF has said it will deploy an Iron Dome antimissile battery to ...
Read More »Israeli Labor Party Also Considering Corbyn As Leader
Corbyn will need more than slogans, and more than simple association with the lowest dregs of British humanity. Tel Aviv, August 20 – A growing dissatisfaction with the tepid stewarship of party chairman Isaac Herzog has the rank-and-file of Israel’s Labor ...
Read More »Germans Agree ‘Hey Jude’ Weirdest Holocaust Song Ever
The vocalist in the song mispronounces the word as if it is English, further generating confusion over the message. Hamburg, August 19 – Germans and German-speakers are expressing puzzlement at what, by its title, should be a song about German ...
Read More »I Hope They Don’t Find My Deleted Ashley Madison Messages
By Hillary Clinton It’s a decisive time in American politics, and I don’t just mean the Iran Deal. The Democratic primary race is heating up, and I hardly need tell you that certain issues are going to keep cropping up, ...
Read More »Haredim: Independent Conversions Might Lead To Mixed Dancing
“The main reason for prohibitions against sexual intercourse in a standing position is the danger that it could become mixed dancing.” Jerusalem, August 18 – Israeli religious leaders on the conservative end of the spectrum continued to voice opposition this ...
Read More »UN GoFundMe Syria Death Toll Campaign Almost At 300K Goal
“We’re almost at the point where the Council will have enough motivation to take some action, and that’s quite accomplishment.” Geneva, August 16 – The United Nations Human Rights Council is not ignoring the bloody Syrian conflict, says a representative, ...
Read More »New Lotto Game: Name Next Pretext For Palestinian Violence
It leverages the expertise that every Israeli claims in political and security affairs, and lets them put their money were their mouths are. Tel Aviv, August 17 – Israel’s lottery administration announced a new game today, in which players can bet ...
Read More »IDF Almost Done Testing Airplane Vanishing Device
“We are less than a year away from being able to cause a system failure in almost any civilian aircraft, and a good number of airborne military systems.” Tel Nof Air Force Base, August 16 – Senior commanders in the ...
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