The organization insists it thoroughly screens its applicants for real offenses, such as affiliation with known sympathizers of US or Israeli policies. New York, August 2 – A spokeswoman for the human rights organization Amnesty International dismissed calls for the ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionRiyadh Ballet Stymied By Burkha Requirement
Ballet officials are considering indefinite postponement, unless the lack of seasoned, willing talent can be addressed soon. Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, July 29 – Attempts to promote Saudi Arabia and its capital as a forward-looking, culture-rich destination have hit a snag ...
Read More »Report: Oh, @&$#!, Not Again
The recent episodes strengthened the assessment among Israelis that the $#!t has seriously hit the goddamn fan. Jerusalem, July 31 – In the day following a stabbing attack on the Jerusalem Gay Pride Parade and a fatal arson attack on ...
Read More »Good Thing I Didn’t Kill Cecil The Lion, Or People Would Hate Me
By Basher Assad, President, Republic of Syria The ferocity and swiftness of international opprobrium directed at that Minnesota dentist who killed a protected lion in Africa drives home an important lesson for my stewardship of this country: I’m glad I ...
Read More »In Nod To BDS, Jesus To Avoid Appearing On Israeli Toast
Christ said He hopes His move will lead other divine figures to take similar steps to help inspire humanity to right injustices. Heaven, July 30 – The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ finally weighed in directly on the controversial Boycott, Divest, ...
Read More »ICC Caps Statute Of Limitations On Palestinian War Crimes At 24 Hours
“The international community, which we represent, as a rule reaches a guilty verdict more or less immediately when Israeli actions are involved, so the Court deemed it appropriate to set a similar time frame for allegations of analogous Palestinian misdeeds.” The ...
Read More »Jewish Home Party Seeks D9 Bulldozer On Judge Appointment Committee
D-10 units might be considered for the position, as well, but only qualified candidates would merit serious attention. Jerusalem, July 29 – Leaders of the nationalist Jewish Home Party want an armored bulldozer on the committee that appoints judges to ...
Read More »Iran Insists Inspectors Get No Access To Ayatollah’s Porn Collection
“The Tera Patrick, Stoya, and Jayden Jaymes video collections, especially, will never be made available to outside eyes.” Tehran, July 28 – Officials in Iran’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs sought to quell reports today that international inspectors would be able ...
Read More »Israelis Who Still See Abbas As Credible Peace Partner Gather In Kiosk
“We managed to achieve a ratio of European journalists to participants of exactly three to one, if you count the proprietor of the place.” Tel Aviv, July 27 – A coalition of peace activists who still believe Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas ...
Read More »State Dept. HR Downgrades Anti-Zionism From ‘Requirement’ To ‘Advantage’
Aides say Kerry aimed to make at least some cosmetic changes as part of the effort to soften Israeli opposition to the Iran nuclear deal. Washington, July 27 – The US Department of State modified its hiring procedures this week, ...
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