By Publius Aeoliua Hadrianus Caesar, Emperor of Rome It is not often that a political and military leader of the mighty Roman empire sees eye to eye with the inhabitants of the barbarous areas beyond the mighty Legions’ reach. But ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionReligion Ministry Sends Search Party To Help Evangelicals Find Jesus
“We will of course take into account eyewitness reports that he has appeared elsewhere in the world, such as on pieces of toast in Arkansas, but the most reliable accounts place him in these parts.” Jerusalem, July 22 – Minister ...
Read More »Probe Reveals UNRWA A Front To Harvest Blood For IDF
UNRWA officials have denied the validity of the claims, but first looked at a mysterious man in the back of the room, as if waiting for instructions. Gaza City, July 23 – An investigation of one of the world’s foremost ...
Read More »Meretz To Oppose Any Bill Implying Arabs Have Volition
It would be imposing Western morality on Palestinians to insist they adhere to such notions as not killing people whose views they oppose. Tel Aviv, July 23 – Representatives of the dovish Meretz Party informed their colleagues in the Opposition ...
Read More »Millions Of Radical Islamists Still Unaware They Are Not Following Islam
“It has taken liberal academics centuries to realize that the only authentic expression of any value system is one that dovetails with liberal academics’ axioms.” Raqqa, Islamic State (formerly Syria), July 22 – As the Islamic State establishes itself in ...
Read More »Israelis Puzzled That EU Thinks Anyone Can Get A Mortgage These Days
Israelis voiced confusion today after the recommendation was reported, as no one seems to be able to secure a mortgage anyway, or knows anyone who has. Jerusalem, July 22 – A European think tank recommended that the European Union adopt ...
Read More »European Space Agency To Avoid Orbit Over West Bank, Gaza
Avoiding those areas will mean no passing over Israel’s pre-1967 boundaries, either, since almost any orbital paths over the occupied zones would involve passing over Israel immediately before or after. Darmstadt, Germany, July 21 – The European intergovernmental agency that ...
Read More »Rival Bible Code Partisans Tout Different Cookie Recipes From Genesis
Jeffrey and Coombs have publicly questioned the statistical validity of the Witztum-Rips chocolate chip cookie, and the two factions have been exchanging heated e-mails ever since. Jerusalem, July 20 – Separate groups of academics working to gather more evidence of ...
Read More »2015 Class Of Palestinian Child Soldiers Looking Promising
“I will kill every Zionist pig I see, and liberate my land with blood and fire,” he added, his voice cracking, whether from emotion or puberty. Gaza City, July 20 – Ghasseb Hatib hopes to be drafted in one of ...
Read More »One Day We Hope To Categorize An IDF Target As Military
By Amnesty International We human rights organizations bear a tremendous responsibility when it comes to exposing and publicizing information on the situation in conflict zones. That is why Amnesty set clear rules and goals for its data gathering and analysis ...
Read More »