“These are but the latest features in a Hell much more accepting of persons with disabilities.” River Styx Crossing, July 12 – A new renovation to the Underworld has brought physical improvements that include enhanced compatibility for people who can ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionIDF To Disable Enemy Communications By Imposing Cellcom Service
It will frustrate enemy troops and commanders with its inconsistent and unreliable network coverage. Tel Aviv, July 12 – Israeli military engineers have developed a way to cripple enemy communications by forcing all wireless traffic to use the Cellcom network, ...
Read More »We Palestinians Are Free To Criticize Anyone Abbas Lets Us Criticize
By Palestinian Prime Minister Rami Hamdallah Ramallah, July 10 – It is time to put to rest the notion that the Palestinian Authority suppresses free speech. Palestinians under President Mahmoud Abbas’s rule are free to say anything, criticize anyone, as ...
Read More »Vienna Brothels Demand Another Iran Talks Extension
They expressed regret that the US team had only brought a small contingent of Secret Service personnel. Vienna, July 8 – A spokesman for the Austrian capital’s prostitution industry today petitioned the parties involved in negotiations over Iran’s nuclear program ...
Read More »Lieberman Proposes Security Barrier Around Arab MKs
“Arabs MKs from other parties will not be separated from the rest of us. The accusation of racism is baseless,” he insisted. Jerusalem, July 9 – Yisrael Beiteinu Party leader Avigdor Lieberman submitted proposed legislation today to mandate an addition of ...
Read More »Ynet Introduces Maximum IQ For Comment Submissions
“Our brand carries a certain set of associations, and an erudite readership is not something we see ourselves as having,” said the site’s managing editor, Daili Mell. Tel Aviv, July 8 – Israel’s largest provider of online news and analysis announced ...
Read More »Oscars To Consider Daesh Execution Film Nominations
They specifically cited the bold contrasts of color and demeanor in the beheading films. Hollywood, July 8 – The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Board of Governors approved new rules and campaign regulations for the 88th Academy Awards at their most recent Board ...
Read More »Other 11 Months Renamed Ramadan To Maintain Terrorism Levels
“We cannot allow the mere shift in phases of the moon to dictate that we diminish our efforts to drive the Jewish ape-pig infidel from the land.” Jerusalem, July 7 – Muslims have responded enthusiastically to calls encouraging them to ...
Read More »UN: Israel Must Give Iron Dome To Gaza For Rockets That Fall Short
An earlier draft of the statement called on Israel to provide an even greater level of military assistance to the Gaza Strip. Geneva, July 6 – The United Nations Human Rights Council followed up its endorsement of the Davis Commission’s ...
Read More »We Cockroaches Are All In Favor Of This Iran Deal
By Flitter the Roach Under the Fridge, July 6 – You humans are right to be worked up about Iran’s nuclear ambitions, but only if you insist on your anthropocentric view. We cockroaches have no problem with a nuclear Iran. ...
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