By MK Michal Rozin, Meretz Esteemed colleagues, fellow Members of Knesset, and Mr. Speaker – thank you for allowing me to speak. Like everyone else who has addressed the plenum today, I’ve come to stress a message of universal brotherhood ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionHeat Wave Convinces Rabbis To Relax Clothing Modesty Laws
Bnei Brak and Kiryat Sefer, two cities with an almost completely Haredi population, featured men walking around in Crocs of subdued colors. Jerusalem, August 3 – Sweltering under an unprecedented heat wave hitting the region, Israel’s leading Rabbis took the ...
Read More »IDF Nixes ‘Palestinians Are Gay – Stab Them’ Haredi Recruitment Drive
Draft office personnel were unable to explain the sudden reversal. Tel Aviv, August 3 – The Israeli military today canceled a nascent publicity program to increase recruitment among ultra-orthodox that would have appealed to the demographic’s perceived desire to kill homosexuals, portraying ...
Read More »Religious Tolerance Rally Scheduled For Sabbath In Meah Shearim
“Our goal is to bring the spirit of acceptance and sensitivity to places where it seldom gets the chance to shine.” Jerusalem, August 2 – On the heels of nationwide protests against hate and violence, the organizers of those rallies ...
Read More »Amnesty Rejects Vetting Activists For Antisemitism: ‘Thought Control’
The organization insists it thoroughly screens its applicants for real offenses, such as affiliation with known sympathizers of US or Israeli policies. New York, August 2 – A spokeswoman for the human rights organization Amnesty International dismissed calls for the ...
Read More »Riyadh Ballet Stymied By Burkha Requirement
Ballet officials are considering indefinite postponement, unless the lack of seasoned, willing talent can be addressed soon. Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, July 29 – Attempts to promote Saudi Arabia and its capital as a forward-looking, culture-rich destination have hit a snag ...
Read More »Report: Oh, @&$#!, Not Again
The recent episodes strengthened the assessment among Israelis that the $#!t has seriously hit the goddamn fan. Jerusalem, July 31 – In the day following a stabbing attack on the Jerusalem Gay Pride Parade and a fatal arson attack on ...
Read More »Good Thing I Didn’t Kill Cecil The Lion, Or People Would Hate Me
By Basher Assad, President, Republic of Syria The ferocity and swiftness of international opprobrium directed at that Minnesota dentist who killed a protected lion in Africa drives home an important lesson for my stewardship of this country: I’m glad I ...
Read More »In Nod To BDS, Jesus To Avoid Appearing On Israeli Toast
Christ said He hopes His move will lead other divine figures to take similar steps to help inspire humanity to right injustices. Heaven, July 30 – The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ finally weighed in directly on the controversial Boycott, Divest, ...
Read More »ICC Caps Statute Of Limitations On Palestinian War Crimes At 24 Hours
“The international community, which we represent, as a rule reaches a guilty verdict more or less immediately when Israeli actions are involved, so the Court deemed it appropriate to set a similar time frame for allegations of analogous Palestinian misdeeds.” The ...
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