“It’s exactly the kind of cosmetic change that we at the EU have always preferred when addressing fundamental, even existential, challenges.” Brussels, June 28 – The European Union has engaged the former Minister of Magic to help the alliance create the ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionMeretz Divided Over Whether To Support Non-Gay Marriage
Whether non-same-sex marriage should actually be criminalized remains a subject of contention among Meretz members. Tel Aviv, June 28 – Leading political figures on the Israeli Left find themselves in disagreement over the proper domestic strategy to pursue in the aftermath ...
Read More »70% Think Lyric Is ‘Who Put The Ram In The Ramadan? A Ding-Dong’
“When I encounter that, I’m revved up like a douche.” Houston, June 27 – A survey of music consumers revealed this week that a solid majority believe the name of the monthlong Islamic practice of daytime fasting called Ramadan is ...
Read More »Next UN Probe Of Israel To Save Time By Just Reprinting Der Stürmer
“All we had to do to achieve the same result was take the existing Nazi, er, literature and adapt it to the Gaza context. Would have taken half the time.” Geneva, June 24 – The research team that released a report ...
Read More »I Hope My Grave Is Desecrated By Someone Important
It would have to be a real hands-on leader, a person who revels in leading by example. By Mor-Tal Koyle At some point we’re just going to have to accept that haters will be haters and that the desecration of ...
Read More »Islamic State Fighters Fear Shortage Of Virgins To Rape
They are left with no one to repeatedly gang-rape but girls who have already been terrorized and beaten extensively, and the challenge is gone. Raqqa, June 24 – Newly arrived Islamic State trainees from other countries are worried that the region is running out ...
Read More »Experts Worry UN Setting Impossible Standard For Other Jew-Haters
“The Council may feel it must lead in these matters, but that does not mean it should do so by making its own achievements untouchable.” Geneva, June 23 – The level of bias and cynicism at play in the United ...
Read More »Sepp Blatter, Jack Warner Tapped To Head Human Rights Council
The Council can no longer ignore the bush-league quality of its own corruption. Geneva, June 22 – Exposure of a massive corruption scandal with world soccer’s governing organization at its center has helped the United Nations Human Rights Council find its next ...
Read More »No One Wants To Tell Knesset Speaker His Fly Open
“I just couldn’t stay in there,” said a blushing Zehava Gal-On of Meretz. Jerusalem, June 21 – None of Israel’s other 119 parliamentarians want to be the one to inform Knesset Speaker Yuli Edelstein that the zipper of his trousers ...
Read More »Local BDS Group Votes To Boycott Israeli BDS Groups
“Being Israeli by definition makes a person an oppressor, or at least an enabler of oppression, and it’s disingenuous to say that that Israeliness, that culpability, is somehow negated by advocating BDS.” Limerick, Ireland, June 17 – Students at the ...
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