The new issue acknowledges the central role that the International Zionist Conspiracy plays in American governance, while maintaining the quest to honor a woman. Washington, April 18 – The campaign to replace the visage of President Andrew Jackson on the American ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionTurkish Flotilla To Yarmuk Camp Stymied By Nonexistence
“In practice, it’s insanely difficult to organize an endeavor this ambitious without there actually being anyone here who genuinely cares about the Palestinians except as a pretext to attack Israel.” Istanbul, April 15 – Organizers of a flotilla to bring ...
Read More »Synagogue Cancels Holocaust Memorial Event Lest It Offend Muslims
Congregation members would instead be invited to a colloquium with local Muslim leaders to discuss the Palestinian experience of oppression. New York, April 16 – A metropolitan-area synagogue called off its planned ceremony in memory of the Holocaust to avoid giving ...
Read More »Gov’t To Ease Housing Crisis With Homes Of Leftists Who Vowed To Leave If Bibi Won
Everyone knows that Labor and Meretz voters have the most personal integrity, and when they said they’re going to leave if Bibi is reelected, that means they intend to follow through. Jerusalem, April 15 – Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu’s incoming ...
Read More »Hamas Upgrading Human Dome Defense System
Hamas retains a sizable pool of humans with which to equip its low-tech system. Gaza City, April 14 – Military observers are reporting that Hamas, the militant Islamist movement that runs the Gaza Strip, appears to be rebuilding and improving its ...
Read More »Kim/Kanye Visit Makes Wall Actually Wail
The media hullabaloo surrounding the impending arrival at the Wailing Wall of the mega-star couple drove home to the sacred Temple remnant just how far humanity has sunk. Jerusalem, April 13 – One of the last remnants of King Herod’s ...
Read More »Pierce My Extremities At The End Of ‘Holey’ Week? Good One!
By Jesus of Nazareth Dudes, you got me. That has got to be one of the best practical jokes in history. I’m not above admitting when I’ve been positively owned. Driving spikes through my appendages just so you could call ...
Read More »Obama To Rescind Sanctions Against Prince Humperdinck
Monitoring measures include the hiring of independent consultant Tyrone Rugen to oversee the clandestine portions of the Florinian international relations program. Florin, April 7 – Royal representatives announced today that the US had agreed to remove its trade sanctions against ...
Read More »Rabbinical Student Still Waiting For Part About How To Control World
He keeps not finding any hint of how to dominate the global economy while keeping a boot on the throat of the goyim. Brooklyn, April 8 – A candidate for rabbinical ordination nearing the end of his course of study ...
Read More »Netanyahu Offers Herzog Ministry Of Inferior
Few, if any, political figures are suited to the post of Minister of the Inferior as well as Herzog. Jerusalem, April 7 – Prime Minister-elect Binyamin Netanyahu raised the stakes in ongoing coalition negotiations today by dangling the post of Minister ...
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