Turkey has been able to press its advantage in cheap manufacturing, with government-subsidized programs providing producers of Jew-hatred with incentives to augment output. Istanbul, April 6 – Government figures for January-March 2015 show that Turkey’s balance of trade turned positive ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionIran Using Your Mom’s Dense Matza Balls To Protect Centrifuges
If they can pull this off, the Islamic Republic will be sitting pretty, knowing they can protect sensitive facilities from almost any foreign airborne threat. Tehran, April 5 – Israeli military intelligence officials cited reports today that Iran is attempting ...
Read More »Market Report: Chametz Futures Down
Bread, pizza, and cookie futures began falling late last week, followed more modestly by cakes, pies, crackers and pretzels. Tel Aviv, April 2 – Commodities traders in Israel have noticed a recent decrease in the price of futures for potentially leavened ...
Read More »UN To Investigate 10 Plagues As Possible Crimes Against Humanity
The Council has already appointed Canadian professor William Schabas to head the commission, citing his experience with similar inquiries. Geneva, April 1 – The United Nations Human Rights Council has appointed a commission to collect and analyze evidence that the ...
Read More »Crash Investigator: Pilot Tried To Show Germans Still Good At Mass Murder
Arranging for Germans to participate in the mass slaughter of innocents can prevent recurrences of the Germanwings crash. Dusseldorf, Germany, April 1 – Aviation officials probing the life of the pilot who crashed a Germanwings aircraft into the Alps and killed ...
Read More »Politicians Worry Olmert Conviction May Taint Profession
Former cabinet minister Tzachi Hanegbi noted the existence of an actual Wikipedia entry on Israeli politicians convicted of various crimes. Jerusalem, March 31 – Leading political figures reacted to former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert’s conviction on corruption charges yesterday with ...
Read More »With Palestinian Tax Revenue Unfrozen, I Can Get The Yacht I Wanted
If any members of the press wish to discuss the ongoing misery of the Palestinian people, feel free to visit me on my new 60-foot beauty. By Saeb Erekat, Palestinian negotiator Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu’s decision to finally release the ...
Read More »Honest Anti-Zionist Also Questions Own Right To Exist
His very arrival in this world was fraught with violations of other people’s space, dignity, and possessions, and his continued existence has only made the situation even more complicated. Beirut, March 29 – Unlike most of his peers, Hassan Dirani ...
Read More »15-Year-Old Hopes He’s Not Too Old To Fight For Hamas
“I doubt they’d accept me. There are just too many younger guys out there – I’m basically over the hill as far as Hamas is concerned.” Rafah, Gaza Strip, March 28 – Yusuf Hijazi looks at the towering wall between ...
Read More »Wet Winter Threatens J-Street’s Supply Of Straw Men
Painting the Right as irredeemably extreme serves J-Street as a classic straw man argument, using large quantities of the agricultural by-product. Tel Aviv, March 25 – The relatively heavy precipitation of the last several months in Israel has severely reduced the ...
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