“This settlement has long attracted radicals, but we are prepared to deal with that,” said Egoz Battalion commander Major Aryush Itinmi. Jaffa, March 21 – The Israel Defense Force announced this morning (Saturday) it had received approval from the Ministry ...
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Feed SubscriptionGaza Wins Bid To Host 2032 Olympics
“When we realized the international sporting community didn’t care about Dubai’s use of slave labor to prepare for the World Cup, we knew we had a chance.” Gaza City, March 18 – The International Olympic Committee announced today (Wednesday) that ...
Read More »Rabbi Accidentally Issues Fatwa
“Frankly, I’m not sure what to make of this,” said Rabbi Grosser Chumra of Bnei Brak. Jerusalem, March 17 – A leader of a prominent faction of Ultra-Orthodox Jews in Israel mistakenly invoked his religious authority in the form of ...
Read More »Israel Election Results Great, Says Obama Through Gritted Teeth
Netanyahu, for his part, took a gracious tone, telling Obama the victory could not have been accomplished without his efforts. Washington, March 18 – The stunning reelection of Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu yesterday prompted insistence from US President Barack ...
Read More »ISRAEL ELECTION SHOCKER: Arab List Wins With 31 Seats
The first congratulatory phone call to the head of the Joint List, Ayman Odeh, came from US President Barack Obama. Jerusalem, March 17 – Israel underwent an electoral upheaval today as a political party representing the Arab ethnic minority swept into ...
Read More »Obama Lets Slip 9/11 A Controlled Demolition
White House spokesmen scrambled to perform damage control, claiming the recording is fake. Washington, March 16 – US President Barack Obama forgot a microphone was still on today when he referred to the collapse of the Twin Towers in 2001 ...
Read More »Arab Head Of Israeli Election Committee Unaware Israel Apartheid State
“It’s as if he can’t see the most obvious flaws in his world view.” Jerusalem, March 15 – Salim Joubran, a celebrated member of Israel’s judiciary who happens to be of Arab descent, remains completely unaware that Israel practices Apartheid ...
Read More »Hamas To Host TED Talk On Innovations In Suicide Bombing
Organizers have declined to say whether legendary Qassam Brigades leader Muhammad Deif will give a TED Talk. Gaza City, March 14 – One of the world’s leading practitioners in the art of strapping on explosives and detonating them in a crowd ...
Read More »I Want Gaza Reconstructed So I Can Start Defrauding Homeowners
By Ali Jabari, contractor It isn’t just the thousands of residents of the Gaza Strip who are frustrated at the lack of progress over reconstruction after last summer’s war. My fellow building contractors and I also feel vexed at being ...
Read More »UN OKs Hamas Refusal To Wear Uniforms In Combat: ‘They Itch’
No such flexibility in defining permissible combat operations should be afforded Israel, the Council warned. Geneva, March 11 – The United Nations Human Rights Council issued an interim directive today to the commission investigating possible war crimes during the Israel-Hamas ...
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