In an unrelated incident at Malpensa this morning, security was alerted to a possible suicide bomber when a traveler from Tel Aviv was seen with strings protruding from under his shirt. Milan, Italy, March 26 – Security and customs officials ...
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Feed SubscriptionObama To Send Condolences To Germany On Hitler Death Anniversary
“We express our heartfelt sympathy to the people of Hitler’s country over the loss of such a visionary leader.” Washington, March 25 – US President Barack Obama plans to correct a historical omission this year when, for the first time, ...
Read More »Israeli Left Regrets Granting Suffrage To Non-Ashkenazim
Evidently no one ever told them that democracy only works when you vote as the educated class sees fit. Tel Aviv, March 24 – The stunning electoral loss last week has ideologues and pragmatists on Israel’s political left wondering whether ...
Read More »I Hate The Stereotype Of Us Nazi-Loving Palestinians As Antisemitic
It simply does not add up. Certainly not to six million. Maybe a few hundred thousand. But I digress. By Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas Prejudice is a terrible thing, as I need not inform you. We all know what happens ...
Read More »Elders Of Zion Invite Wrong Zoabi To Meeting
The damage control turned out to be unnecessary, as the call was conducted using the Cellcom mobile network, and nothing was heard. Savyon, Israel, March 22 – The secret cabal behind all of the world’s major affairs scrambled to perform ...
Read More »IDF To Dismantle Settler Outpost ‘Tel Aviv’
“This settlement has long attracted radicals, but we are prepared to deal with that,” said Egoz Battalion commander Major Aryush Itinmi. Jaffa, March 21 – The Israel Defense Force announced this morning (Saturday) it had received approval from the Ministry ...
Read More »Gaza Wins Bid To Host 2032 Olympics
“When we realized the international sporting community didn’t care about Dubai’s use of slave labor to prepare for the World Cup, we knew we had a chance.” Gaza City, March 18 – The International Olympic Committee announced today (Wednesday) that ...
Read More »Rabbi Accidentally Issues Fatwa
“Frankly, I’m not sure what to make of this,” said Rabbi Grosser Chumra of Bnei Brak. Jerusalem, March 17 – A leader of a prominent faction of Ultra-Orthodox Jews in Israel mistakenly invoked his religious authority in the form of ...
Read More »Israel Election Results Great, Says Obama Through Gritted Teeth
Netanyahu, for his part, took a gracious tone, telling Obama the victory could not have been accomplished without his efforts. Washington, March 18 – The stunning reelection of Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu yesterday prompted insistence from US President Barack ...
Read More »ISRAEL ELECTION SHOCKER: Arab List Wins With 31 Seats
The first congratulatory phone call to the head of the Joint List, Ayman Odeh, came from US President Barack Obama. Jerusalem, March 17 – Israel underwent an electoral upheaval today as a political party representing the Arab ethnic minority swept into ...
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