PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

Atlanta, January 10 – In the interest of journalistic balance, the international news giant Cable News Network announced today it would pay $10,000 to individuals who submitted stories, or leads that produced stories, that cast Islamists in a positive light. ...

Eli Settlement, Occupied West Bank, January 9 – Israeli military technology has now been applied to the thorny problem of snow and ice blocking roads, in the form of a new method that rapidly clears the routes to and from West ...

 The June attacks are proven as a fitting response to Israeli airstrikes in July and August. Ramallah, January 8 – Scientists at Bir Zeit University announced this afternoon that they had refuted Newtonian notions such as cause-and-effect and the flow ...

The Hague, The Netherlands, January 7 – Following the lead of the nascent State of Palestine, the international terrorist organization Al Qaeda submitted its application today for membership in the International Criminal Court, specifically seeking the court’s action on actions ...

The Heavens, January 7 – The LORD Almighty and His ministering angels are just tickled pink, as it were, by the hullabaloo surrounding cartoons and films mocking Muhammad, heavenly sources say. “Thus saith the LORD: Thou canst not make this stuff ...

Jerusalem, January 6 – Meteorologists and Israeli government officials are warning residents and visitors alike to prepare for a major storm of remarks questioning the validity of climate change observations and predictions, in reaction to an anticipated snowfall and  lower-than-average ...

By Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas A strong, robust democracy is what Palestine needs, and genuine rule of law. That’s why I am spearheading an effort to get my four-year term as president to extend at least twelve years; one can ...

Pithom, Ancient Egypt, January 4 – Israelite Opposition head Isaac Herzog criticized what he called his nation’s “intransigent” leadership, and called on his fellow Hebrews to make some concessions in their ongoing conflict with the Egyptian king. To kick off negotiations with ...

Tel Aviv, January 3 – Israel responded today to the abortive Palestinian statehood bid at the Security Council by announcing it would cease its transfer of tax revenues it collects for the Palestinian Authority, prompting the political party Meretz to ...

Gaza City, January 2 – The Islamist movement that controls the Gaza Strip urgently sought to undo an order it placed with an online vendor after discovering that the blow-up toys in the order were in fact inflatable, and not explosive. ...