PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

Washgington, DC, January 1 – The visionary behind the global peacemaking organization the League of Nations is urging Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas to join the League in the aftermath of a failed bid to have the United Nations Security Council ...

Brussels, December 31 – Officials at the European Commission have approved a grant to underwrite the design and manufacture of a better-insulated echo chamber for politicians, activists, and academics who oppose Israel. EC spokesman Wyrol Yessmen told representatives of several anti-Israel ...

Jerusalem, December 31 – Mayor Nir Barkat approved a measure today to save the Municipality of Jerusalem millions of shekels annually by paving streets and sidewalks directly with dog droppings instead of laboriously laying bricks or asphalt and then bringing in dog ...

By Hassan Yousef, Hamas Leader The leadership of Hamas announced yesterday that it does not support Mahmoud Abbas’s effort to get the UN Security Council to endorse a Palestinian State, since the move “does not represent the consensus of Palestinians.” ...

Heaven, December 29 – An embarrassed Almighty told reporters today that He had failed to receive the vast majority of people’s petitions over the last several millennia, as the filtering software He had installed ages ago on His incoming messages ...

Ramat Aviv, December 28 – Israelis who obviously know better than you what is good for the country have already declared their dissatisfaction with the outcome of elections this coming March. A diverse group of elitists from across the narrowest ...

Gaza City, December 27 – The Hamas movement that governs the Gaza Strip has sentenced gravity to death, after the force of nature was convicted of providing assistance to Israel in its recent Protective Edge operation against the Gaza Strip, and ...

Jerusalem, December 26 – A spate of ethnic violence in a number of Western countries has prompted the Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs to put out a travel advisory warning Israelis to avoid those countries if possible. A series of ...

Kadesh Barnea, Sinai Wilderness, December 25 – The twelve tribes of Israel have filed a lawsuit in district court over what they claim is negligent behavior on the part of their Global Positioning System provider, accusing the company of causing ...

Shiloh, Occupied West Bank, December 24 – Archaeologists have unearthed a vast conspiratorial effort by ancient Israelites to make Jews living in Palestine 3,000 years later look indigenous, scholars are reporting. Over the last century and a half, diggers have ...