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Rowling Reveals Voldemort Modeled On Muhammad

Rowling Reveals Voldemort Modeled On Muhammad

Rowling was last seen donning a Burqa, leaving the building, and blending into the crowd. Edinburgh, Scotland, January 21 – In a shocking revelation, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling told reporters yesterday that the inspiration for the Lord Voldemort character in her blockbuster ...

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Herzog Waits Record 20 Minutes Before Exploiting Stabbing

Herzog Waits Record 20 Minutes Before Exploiting Stabbing

‘An eternal two-digit number of minutes’ Tel Aviv, January 21 – Opposition leader and current electoral front-runner Isaac Herzog showed an unprecedented level of restraint in Israeli politics this morning by refraining from using today’s stabbing attack in Tel Aviv ...

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Beheading Trending in Gaza

Beheading Trending in Gaza

Hamas declares war on any ideology differing slightly from Islam; beheading established as Palestinian national sport. Gaza City, January 21 – The Islamist movement that runs the Gaza Strip has unveiled a new initiative to rid the territory of Christians, pacifists, liberals, feminists, homosexuals, ...

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Biblical Zoo Acquires Leviathan; Seeks Larger Site

Biblical Zoo Acquires Leviathan; Seeks Larger Site

Beit Shemesh, January 21 – One of Israel’s small, niche zoos has put itself on the map by becoming the first such establishment in the world to house the legendary Leviathan. The Biblical Museum of Natural History in the Northern Industrial ...

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Hebrew Language Academy Flummoxed By ‘In The Black’

Hebrew Language Academy Flummoxed By ‘In The Black’

“We can’t wrap our heads around that idea,” admitted a committee member. Jerusalem, January 20 – Israel’s authority on the proper Hebrew equivalent to vernacular terms adopted into the language has declined to translate foreign terms referring to a positive balance ...

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