Everyone knows that Labor and Meretz voters have the most personal integrity, and when they said they’re going to leave if Bibi is reelected, that means they intend to follow through. Jerusalem, April 15 – Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu’s incoming ...
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Feed SubscriptionHamas Upgrading Human Dome Defense System
Hamas retains a sizable pool of humans with which to equip its low-tech system. Gaza City, April 14 – Military observers are reporting that Hamas, the militant Islamist movement that runs the Gaza Strip, appears to be rebuilding and improving its ...
Read More »Kim/Kanye Visit Makes Wall Actually Wail
The media hullabaloo surrounding the impending arrival at the Wailing Wall of the mega-star couple drove home to the sacred Temple remnant just how far humanity has sunk. Jerusalem, April 13 – One of the last remnants of King Herod’s ...
Read More »Pierce My Extremities At The End Of ‘Holey’ Week? Good One!
By Jesus of Nazareth Dudes, you got me. That has got to be one of the best practical jokes in history. I’m not above admitting when I’ve been positively owned. Driving spikes through my appendages just so you could call ...
Read More »Obama To Rescind Sanctions Against Prince Humperdinck
Monitoring measures include the hiring of independent consultant Tyrone Rugen to oversee the clandestine portions of the Florinian international relations program. Florin, April 7 – Royal representatives announced today that the US had agreed to remove its trade sanctions against ...
Read More »Rabbinical Student Still Waiting For Part About How To Control World
He keeps not finding any hint of how to dominate the global economy while keeping a boot on the throat of the goyim. Brooklyn, April 8 – A candidate for rabbinical ordination nearing the end of his course of study ...
Read More »Netanyahu Offers Herzog Ministry Of Inferior
Few, if any, political figures are suited to the post of Minister of the Inferior as well as Herzog. Jerusalem, April 7 – Prime Minister-elect Binyamin Netanyahu raised the stakes in ongoing coalition negotiations today by dangling the post of Minister ...
Read More »International Trade: Turkey Now A Net Exporter Of Antisemitism
Turkey has been able to press its advantage in cheap manufacturing, with government-subsidized programs providing producers of Jew-hatred with incentives to augment output. Istanbul, April 6 – Government figures for January-March 2015 show that Turkey’s balance of trade turned positive ...
Read More »Iran Using Your Mom’s Dense Matza Balls To Protect Centrifuges
If they can pull this off, the Islamic Republic will be sitting pretty, knowing they can protect sensitive facilities from almost any foreign airborne threat. Tehran, April 5 – Israeli military intelligence officials cited reports today that Iran is attempting ...
Read More »Market Report: Chametz Futures Down
Bread, pizza, and cookie futures began falling late last week, followed more modestly by cakes, pies, crackers and pretzels. Tel Aviv, April 2 – Commodities traders in Israel have noticed a recent decrease in the price of futures for potentially leavened ...
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