Home / Author Archives: Swidler (page 327)

Author Archives: Swidler

Feed Subscription

Elitists Already Disappointed By Election Results

Elitists Already Disappointed By Election Results

Ramat Aviv, December 28 – Israelis who obviously know better than you what is good for the country have already declared their dissatisfaction with the outcome of elections this coming March. A diverse group of elitists from across the narrowest ...

Read More »

Hamas To Execute Gravity For Collaboration With Israel

Hamas To Execute Gravity For Collaboration With Israel

Gaza City, December 27 – The Hamas movement that governs the Gaza Strip has sentenced gravity to death, after the force of nature was convicted of providing assistance to Israel in its recent Protective Edge operation against the Gaza Strip, and ...

Read More »

Israel Issues Travel Warning For US, France, Sweden

Israel Issues Travel Warning For US, France, Sweden

Jerusalem, December 26 – A spate of ethnic violence in a number of Western countries has prompted the Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs to put out a travel advisory warning Israelis to avoid those countries if possible. A series of ...

Read More »

Ancient Jews Conspired To Legitimize Modern Settlements

Ancient Jews Conspired To Legitimize Modern Settlements

Shiloh, Occupied West Bank, December 24 – Archaeologists have unearthed a vast conspiratorial effort by ancient Israelites to make Jews living in Palestine 3,000 years later look indigenous, scholars are reporting. Over the last century and a half, diggers have ...

Read More »

We Don’t Discriminate – We Let ANYONE Kill Jews

We Don’t Discriminate – We Let ANYONE Kill Jews

By Mahmoud A-Zahar, Hamas Spokesman Our organization gets a lot of bad press about how we discriminate against various populations: women, Christians, whoever. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The truth is that we offer equal opportunity for anyone ...

Read More »

Dreidel Feels Completely Misunderstood

Dreidel Feels Completely Misunderstood

New York, December 23 – Gyrone, a four-year-old decorative dreidel, has become increasingly frustrated over the years with the ignorance displayed by anyone and everyone he encounters, and their short attention span. “Nobody seems to have any idea what I’m ...

Read More »

Israel To Move All Tel Aviv Embassies To Ashkelon

Israel To Move All Tel Aviv Embassies To Ashkelon

Jerusalem, December 22 – The diplomatic rift between Israel and many other countries over the moribund peace process with the Palestinians widened today when Israel announced that all countries maintaining their embassies outside Israel’s official capital of Jerusalem would be ...

Read More »

Report: Abu Ein Murdered By Telekinetic Israeli Soldiers

Report: Abu Ein Murdered By Telekinetic Israeli Soldiers

Ramallah, December 19 – Palestinian minister Ziad Abu Ein was apparently murdered by telekinetic Zionist soldiers, according to a forensic report issued today (see accompanying photo). “Freak telekinetic Jews are directly responsible for the death of Abu Ein,” said Palestinian ...

Read More »

UNRWA Expands Refugee Status To Pets, Furniture

UNRWA Expands Refugee Status To Pets, Furniture

Jerusalem, December 19 – The United Nations agency tasked with caring for the descendants of Arab refugees from the 1948 war over Israel’s creation has broadened its unique definition of “refugee” to include the animals and other possessions of the ...

Read More »
Scroll To Top