Ramat Aviv, December 28 – Israelis who obviously know better than you what is good for the country have already declared their dissatisfaction with the outcome of elections this coming March. A diverse group of elitists from across the narrowest ...
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Feed SubscriptionHamas To Execute Gravity For Collaboration With Israel
Gaza City, December 27 – The Hamas movement that governs the Gaza Strip has sentenced gravity to death, after the force of nature was convicted of providing assistance to Israel in its recent Protective Edge operation against the Gaza Strip, and ...
Read More »Israel Issues Travel Warning For US, France, Sweden
Jerusalem, December 26 – A spate of ethnic violence in a number of Western countries has prompted the Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs to put out a travel advisory warning Israelis to avoid those countries if possible. A series of ...
Read More »Israelites Sue GPS Provider For Faulty Wilderness Directions
Kadesh Barnea, Sinai Wilderness, December 25 – The twelve tribes of Israel have filed a lawsuit in district court over what they claim is negligent behavior on the part of their Global Positioning System provider, accusing the company of causing ...
Read More »Ancient Jews Conspired To Legitimize Modern Settlements
Shiloh, Occupied West Bank, December 24 – Archaeologists have unearthed a vast conspiratorial effort by ancient Israelites to make Jews living in Palestine 3,000 years later look indigenous, scholars are reporting. Over the last century and a half, diggers have ...
Read More »We Don’t Discriminate – We Let ANYONE Kill Jews
By Mahmoud A-Zahar, Hamas Spokesman Our organization gets a lot of bad press about how we discriminate against various populations: women, Christians, whoever. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The truth is that we offer equal opportunity for anyone ...
Read More »Dreidel Feels Completely Misunderstood
New York, December 23 – Gyrone, a four-year-old decorative dreidel, has become increasingly frustrated over the years with the ignorance displayed by anyone and everyone he encounters, and their short attention span. “Nobody seems to have any idea what I’m ...
Read More »Israel To Move All Tel Aviv Embassies To Ashkelon
Jerusalem, December 22 – The diplomatic rift between Israel and many other countries over the moribund peace process with the Palestinians widened today when Israel announced that all countries maintaining their embassies outside Israel’s official capital of Jerusalem would be ...
Read More »Report: Abu Ein Murdered By Telekinetic Israeli Soldiers
Ramallah, December 19 – Palestinian minister Ziad Abu Ein was apparently murdered by telekinetic Zionist soldiers, according to a forensic report issued today (see accompanying photo). “Freak telekinetic Jews are directly responsible for the death of Abu Ein,” said Palestinian ...
Read More »UNRWA Expands Refugee Status To Pets, Furniture
Jerusalem, December 19 – The United Nations agency tasked with caring for the descendants of Arab refugees from the 1948 war over Israel’s creation has broadened its unique definition of “refugee” to include the animals and other possessions of the ...
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