“…this house of prayer to YHWH our God, made by the King David so that the king use the other house of prayer located…” Jerusalem, October 20 – Excavators working to the south of the Old City have discovered what ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed Subscription‘Babes Of Hamas’ Pinup Calendar Selling Poorly
Gaza City, October 19 – An attempt to raise funds for Hamas’s military wing via the sale of a calendar featuring attractive Muslim women has produced poor results, a spokesman for the movement conceded today. The “Babes of Hamas” pinup ...
Read More »I Also Think The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Caused Ebola
By US Secretary of State John Kerry You Israelis are so hypersensitive. You overreact to every little distortion, every little indication that I’ve swallowed the big Palestinian lie hook, line, and sinker. But you should save your bile for when ...
Read More »Iran On Texas Execution Rate: ‘Bloody Amateurs’
“Wannabe Texas can’t even manage one per week. That would be comical if it weren’t so downright lame.” Tehran, October 16 – Officials in Iran expressed disdain for the supposed cruelty of Texas’s criminal justice system today, calling the Lone ...
Read More »UK Also Votes To Symbolically Recognize Vichy France
London, October 15 – Following a vote in the House of Commons Monday to grant symbolic recognition to a Palestinian state, Parliament passed a similar non-binding motion to grant the same recognition to the Pétain government of Nazi-occupied France. The ...
Read More »Police Allege Conspiracy To Make Israel Safest Place In Mideast For Arabs
“It takes considered, calculated forethought to perpetrate this kind of policy.” Jerusalem, October 15 – A police investigation has uncovered what officials say is convincing evidence that Israel is attempting to develop and maintain its status as the safest place ...
Read More »Ban Visits Terror Tunnel, Laments Cramped Conditions Inside
Kibbutz Nahal Oz, Israel, October 14 – The United Nations Secretary General today visited southern Israeli communities battered this summer by Hamas rocket and mortar fire, and climbed into one of the tunnels used by the terrorist organization to infiltrate ...
Read More »Jews To Expand Use Of Gentile Blood To Cookies, Pizza
Jerusalem, October 13 – After focusing for nearly a thousand years on the ritual inclusion of non-Jewish blood in their Passover unleavened bread, Jews have begun to broaden their use of the special substance in other foodstuffs beyond the strictly ...
Read More »New Tactics Allow Israel Police To Ignore Multiple Threats At Once
Jerusalem, October 13 – Few police forces must consistently straddle the line between civilian law enforcement and defense against external terrorist threats as Israel’s does, challenging them to develop methods to effectively avoid all potential incidents taking place at a ...
Read More »Our Goal In BDS Is Actually To Put Washed-Up Artists Back In The News
By Omar Barghouti Critics of the Boycott, Divest, Sanctions movement against Israel miss the point when they accuse us of hypocrisy or inconsistency by challenging us over our peculiar choice of Israel when far worse abuses of human rights take ...
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