“It takes considered, calculated forethought to perpetrate this kind of policy.” Jerusalem, October 15 – A police investigation has uncovered what officials say is convincing evidence that Israel is attempting to develop and maintain its status as the safest place ...
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Feed SubscriptionBan Visits Terror Tunnel, Laments Cramped Conditions Inside
Kibbutz Nahal Oz, Israel, October 14 – The United Nations Secretary General today visited southern Israeli communities battered this summer by Hamas rocket and mortar fire, and climbed into one of the tunnels used by the terrorist organization to infiltrate ...
Read More »Jews To Expand Use Of Gentile Blood To Cookies, Pizza
Jerusalem, October 13 – After focusing for nearly a thousand years on the ritual inclusion of non-Jewish blood in their Passover unleavened bread, Jews have begun to broaden their use of the special substance in other foodstuffs beyond the strictly ...
Read More »New Tactics Allow Israel Police To Ignore Multiple Threats At Once
Jerusalem, October 13 – Few police forces must consistently straddle the line between civilian law enforcement and defense against external terrorist threats as Israel’s does, challenging them to develop methods to effectively avoid all potential incidents taking place at a ...
Read More »Our Goal In BDS Is Actually To Put Washed-Up Artists Back In The News
By Omar Barghouti Critics of the Boycott, Divest, Sanctions movement against Israel miss the point when they accuse us of hypocrisy or inconsistency by challenging us over our peculiar choice of Israel when far worse abuses of human rights take ...
Read More »US Incentives Prompt ISIS To Join Coalition Against ISIS
Baghdad, October 11 – The political and economic benefits promised to potential members of the coalition to combat the Islamic State has led the organization itself to join, diplomats in the Middle East reported Saturday. US Secretary of State John ...
Read More »City Famous For Beheadings Horrified At Beheading Plot
London, October 10 – The city most closely associated with monarchs ordering people’s heads severed from the rest of their bodies expressed shock and horror this week after authorities allegedly uncovered an Islamist plot to perform the same act on ...
Read More »Ministry Of Douchebaggery Extends Shirtless Jogging Season
Tel Aviv, October 9 – Minister of Douchebaggery Aluf Arss introduced a new douchebag timetable yesterday morning, announcing that jogging or otherwise engaging in public athletic activity while shirtless would be officially sanctioned through November and December, and resume in ...
Read More »Opposition: Time Running Out To Let Aging Abbas Slaughter Us
Tel Aviv, October 7 – Opposition leaders are warning that given the advanced age of Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, there may be precious little time remaining for Israel to make self-destructive concessions to him before he dies or steps down. ...
Read More »Budget Concerns Prompt IDF To Put Ads On Sides Of Tanks
Ramat Hasharon, Israel, October 6 – Tensions over a proposed increase in military spending as part of the 2015 government budget have forced the Ministry of Defense and Israel Defense Force to seek revenue outside the standard military budget, leading ...
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