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Only Remaining Untainted Candidate For Police Chief A Turnip

Only Remaining Untainted Candidate For Police Chief A Turnip

Jerusalem, October 1 – Police officials announced today that the vast majority of potential successors to the police commissioner have been eliminated from contention, ruling out everyone but a turnip in the Machane Yehuda market. Corruption scandals and incompetence have ...

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Obama Now An Authority On What Is, Is Not Islam

Obama Now An Authority On What Is, Is Not Islam

New York, September 28 – Muslims around the world are shifting their religious allegiances on matters of doctrine, say experts, as a result of US President Barack Obama’s obvious expertise in their spiritual affairs, which he demonstrated last week by ...

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Abraham Arrested After Nearly Sacrificing Son

Abraham Arrested After Nearly Sacrificing Son

Beersheba, the Land of Canaan – Canaanite authorities have placed Abraham under arrest today, alleging that he recklessly endangered the life of his son by almost sacrificing the child to the LORD. Abraham, a father of two residing in the ...

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Report: Interior Ministry Supposed To Be Doing More Than Home Decor

Report: Interior Ministry Supposed To Be Doing More Than Home Decor

Jerusalem, September 23 – An audit by the State Comptroller has revealed that the Ministry of the Interior has apparently been misunderstanding its mission, and has restricted itself to managing home and office decor when its actual mandate involves  local government, citizenship and residency, ...

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Even We Can’t Keep Track Of All Our Conspiracies Anymore

Even We Can’t Keep Track Of All Our Conspiracies Anymore

By the International Zionist Conspiracy The twenty-first century is a pretty complex place. The world is teeming with more than seven billion souls, with international and domestic crises to manage absolutely everywhere. As you can imagine, the level of International ...

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