Damascus, Syria, September 23 – The leader of a state deeply enmeshed in the support and arming of groups violently targeting civilian populations as a means of achieving political aims told visiting dignitaries today that he backs US-led efforts to ...
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Feed SubscriptionAbraham Arrested After Nearly Sacrificing Son
Beersheba, the Land of Canaan – Canaanite authorities have placed Abraham under arrest today, alleging that he recklessly endangered the life of his son by almost sacrificing the child to the LORD. Abraham, a father of two residing in the ...
Read More »Report: Interior Ministry Supposed To Be Doing More Than Home Decor
Jerusalem, September 23 – An audit by the State Comptroller has revealed that the Ministry of the Interior has apparently been misunderstanding its mission, and has restricted itself to managing home and office decor when its actual mandate involves local government, citizenship and residency, ...
Read More »With Supply Now Infinite, Cats Classified As Renewable Resource
Jerusalem, September 22 – The exploding population of feral cats in Israel has prompted the Ministry of Environmental Protection to declare the animals a renewable resource, clearing the way to harvest them and use them in myriad ecologically friendly projects, ...
Read More »Even We Can’t Keep Track Of All Our Conspiracies Anymore
By the International Zionist Conspiracy The twenty-first century is a pretty complex place. The world is teeming with more than seven billion souls, with international and domestic crises to manage absolutely everywhere. As you can imagine, the level of International ...
Read More »IDF To Follow NY/NJ Model For Making Tunnels Impassable
Tel Aviv, September 20 – The congestion and delays inherent in the system of tunnels connecting Manhattan with New Jersey and the outer boros of New York lies at the center of a new Israeli strategy for neutralizing the threat of ...
Read More »Obama Announces Fine, He’s Really a Muslim
Washington, September 19 – Reacting to years of right-wing agitation on the subject, President Barack Obama announced today that, if they insist, fine, he’s actually a Muslim. At a White House press conference this morning, the President told the assembled ...
Read More »Haredim Recruited To Protest UN Inquiry: Will Yell “Schabas!”
Bnei Brak, September 18 – In a bid to harness the youthful energy and accumulated experience of the Ultra-Orthodox population in protesting violations of the Sabbath in their neighborhoods, the Israeli government has launched a program to recruit Haredi men ...
Read More »Human Rights Council Votes To Exclude Beheading From Mandate
Geneva, September 17 – The United Nations body tasked with monitoring and addressing human rights violations around the world voted today to remove beheading and other brutal forms of murder from its purview, saying that the member nations did not ...
Read More »Knesset Approves 0% Tax On Knesset Member Salaries
Jerusalem, September 17 – Amid tensions in the governing coalition over the fate of a law meant to eliminate the Value Added Tax on certain purchases of a home, the government and Knesset lawmakers showed no such hesitation in instituting ...
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