Jerusalem, September 7 – Israel’s High Court of Justice approved a draft law intended to impose harsher penalties on defendants convicted of terrorist activity, a bill that would condemn them to moderating the insipid, ignorant, spammy, or downright incomprehensible comments ...
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Feed SubscriptionGuests Petition Gov’t To Make Meals As Good As Smorgasbords
Jerusalem, September 6 – Frustrated attendees at various catered affairs took to the political arena this week to protest the drop in quality of the food they experience when moving from the smorgasbord to the sit-down meal, calling on their ...
Read More »Human Rights Watch Head Tweets About Country Other Than Israel
New York, September 5 – Human Rights Watch Director Ken Roth posted a Twitter message this morning that did not focus on alleged misdeeds by Israel, sources inside the organization report. Roth typed and sent a tweet to his followers ...
Read More »Police To Cut To Chase, Recommend Indictment For Whole Population
Jerusalem, September 3 – Police investigators have announced their intention to formally recommend indicting every single Israeli citizen for various crimes including corruption and breach of trust, in order to simplify the inevitable. Commissioner Yohanan Danino called a press conference ...
Read More »Fox Acquires Rights To New ISIS Reality Show ‘Convert Or Die’
Mosul, Iraq, September 4 – The Fox network sent ripples through the entertainment industry today with the news that it inked a deal with the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria to produce a reality series focusing on a group ...
Read More »Synagogue Overbooks, Offers To Bump Attendees To Other Holidays
Seattle, Washington, September 3 – Temple De Hirsch Sinai administrators found themselves in hot water today after members discovered that the synagogue had overbooked its seats for the High Holidays under the assumption that some would fail to attend. Congregational ...
Read More »ISIS Is Obviously Mocking Me, by Nearly Headless Nick
Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington Beheading is a brutal method of execution, as I well know. Especially if performed improperly. But insult is a more grievous offense. It therefore injures me, in ways that an axe can no longer, to witness the ...
Read More »UN-Approved Targeting System For IDF Just Turns Off
Tel Aviv, September 1 – Casualty figures from the latest round of violence between Hamas and Israel have led the United Nations to impose oversight on Israeli military targeting systems, requiring the latter to have a feature that whenever it ...
Read More »Filipino UN Troops, Now In Israel, To Take Jobs In Home Care
Ein Zivan, Israel, August 31 – Following a firefight with Jihadist rebels and many fraught hours during which their fate was unclear, the 75 UN soldiers from the Philippines who managed to make their way across the border into Israel ...
Read More »Man Unsure Whether Israel Like Hitler Or Hitler Was Right
Alexandria, Egypt, August 31 – Mohammad El-Bir is your typical blue-collar Egyptian: struggling economically, hoping for political stability, and certain that Israel is the chief cause of the world’s problems. Pictures of the recent carnage in the Gaza Strip, however, ...
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