By Khaled Mashal You’ll have to pardon me for quoting a Jew, but it’s good to be the king. Our efforts to control the flow of information out of the Gaza Strip have been more successful than we’d imagined. Not ...
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Feed SubscriptionFacebook Decides Pro-Israel Satire Offensive, Anti-Israel Hate OK
Menlo Park, CA, August 11 – Social media giant Facebook decided to accept at face value a report that a satirical website’s pro-Israel humor was worth censoring, while allowing dozens, if not hundreds, of hate-spewing pages to continue spilling their ...
Read More »Hamas Offers Compromise Of Only Attempting Genocide 5 Days A Week
Cairo, Egypt, August 11 – Talks between the Islamic movement Hamas and Israel’s Egyptian proxies continued today as Hamas offered to back down from its demand that destruction of Israel and its Jews take place perpetually, instead proposing that the ...
Read More »Obama Diagnosed With Inability To Endorse Israel Self-Defense Without “But”
Washington, August 10 – White House physicians announced today that they have determined President Barack Obama is affected by a condition that does not allow him to unequivocally support Israel’s right to defend its citizens. It instead forces him to ...
Read More »MKs Fighting Over Who Gets To Slap Zoabi On Wrist
Jerusalem, August 9 – Member of Knesset Hanin Zoabi is scheduled to face a Knesset panel that will determine her future in the legislative body after she was recorded making comments that could be construed as incitement for Palestinian terrorism ...
Read More »Ban On Flights To Israel Renewed Until People Stop Clapping At Landing
Washington, DC, August 8 – The US is once again using its influence in air travel to modify the way Israelis behave, this time directly addressing the need travelers seem to have to applaud upon landing in Israel. When the ...
Read More »Gaza: Shortage Of Red Sprinkles For Sweets Celebrating Abduction Of Jews
Khan Yunis, Gaza Strip, August 6 – Among the many troubles plaguing this battered coastal Palestinian enclave, local confectioners are lamenting a lack of the right color sprinkles with which to decorate the sweets they will distribute when an Israeli ...
Read More »UNRWA To Revamp Procedures For Posing Corpses In Its Facilities
Rafah, August 9 – After activists created a mess at a UN-run school by dragging corpses onto the grounds of the facility to make it look like the IDF had targeted the school itself, the agency that runs the school ...
Read More »Religion Ministry: Shmittah Not Divisive Enough
Jerusalem, August 7 – Officials at Israel’s Ministry of Religious Services are worried that too many consumers will be able to avoid disturbing issues when purchasing produce during the Sabbatical year, and are working to ensure that several layers of ...
Read More »Facebook Acquires Hamas: Tool In Further Emotional Manipulation Studies
Menlo Park, CA, August 6 – In a follow up paper to Facebook’s controversial emotional manipulation study, Facebook researchers have found that posts reporting and commenting on military or terrorist actions overseas have a statistically significant impact on people’s moods. ...
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