By Yasser Arafat It’s been what, almost ten years now, and you’re still going on about what sinister forces conspired to assassinate me by whatever nefarious means? Get a life. I’ve got my own widow claiming I was poisoned, some ...
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Feed SubscriptionHeavenly Bodies Still Adjusting To Heliocentrism
The orbits of the planets were originally described as circular, but in the last few centuries they have shifted to more elliptical paths, indicating an ongoing adjustment to the cosmic changes. The Milky Way, October 15 – It has been ...
Read More »Israeli Startup To Give Hemorrhoids To Spammers
Ramat Gan, Israel, April 6 – Asla Agevah founded Halomot B’aspamia two years a go with the vision of bringing some visceral justice to the world of online marketing, and is now very close to launching the company’s first product: ...
Read More »With YouTube Banned, Turkish Productivity Soars
Ankara, April 5 – President Erdogan of Turkey ordered access to the video-sharing site YouTube blocked last week, resulting in an unprecedented spike in worker productivity in the country. Following the uploading of conversations onto the site that embarrassed the ...
Read More »Study: Possible To Mention Gaza Rocket Fire Not In Context Of IDF Retaliation
Experts are divided on whether the study will have any impact on the way reporting is conducted. New York, April 4 – A new analysis of data suggests that it is possible for a reporter to mention that Palestinians have ...
Read More »Police: Sexual Harassment In Jerusalem To Decrease Unless We Act Now
Jerusalem, April 4 – Law enforcement agencies in Israel’s capital are warning that the high rate at which local women are subject to verbal or physical unpleasantness on the basis of their sex cannot be maintained, and that the desired ...
Read More »Outrage As Rabbi Rules That Only Certain Gentile Blood Suitable For Matza
Jerusalem, April 2 – Religious and political leaders are charging discrimination after a prominent authority on Jewish law ruled that Jews must prepare their Passover bread with the blood of only certain groups of non-Jews. Rabbi Pesach Blutbrodt, head of ...
Read More »I’ve Already Got My Nobel Peace Prize, So To Hell With You
By Barack Obama Most presidents are concerned with their legacy. Not this one. I started my presidency with the world’s most prestigious peace prize already under my belt, and had nothing to prove. That means no pretense of caring about ...
Read More »Zionist Conspiracy Apologizes For Washington State Landslide
New York, April 1 – A spokesman for the International Zionist Conspiracy expressed regret to day over its engineering of the deadly landslide in Oso, Washington, that left 18 confirmed dead and 22 missing. He called the disaster a failure ...
Read More »Olmert Convictions Means Now He Actually Has Some
Tel Aviv, March 31 – Tel Aviv Disctrict Court Magistrate David Rosen pronounced former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert guilty on corruption charges today, finally supplying Olmert with at least one conviction, something he had lacked in his previous 68 years. ...
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