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Car Bomber Thwarted By Manual Transmission

Car Bomber Thwarted By Manual Transmission

Jenin, March 9 – A Palestinian man was killed this morning while attempting to attack Israelis with a car bomb, but was unable to drive the vehicle to his selected location. The vehicle he had been provided was a stick-shift ...

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Obama Advisers Warn Of Paint Shortage For More Red Lines

Obama Advisers Warn Of Paint Shortage For More Red Lines

Washington, March 8 – Officials in President Barack Obama’s cabinet advised him today that the administration’s inventory of red paint is nearly exhausted, having used it repeatedly and ineffectively with Syria, Iran, and Russia. More red lines, they warned, might ...

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Egypt Suddenly Realizes Banning Terrorists A Good Idea

Egypt Suddenly Realizes Banning Terrorists A Good Idea

Rafah, Egypt, March 4 – An Egyptian court declared the Hamas organization illegal today, signaling a sudden dawning on the country’s leadership that perhaps sheltering or condoning violent militant movements on one’s soil might not be the wisest course of ...

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