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Author Archives: Swidler

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Destroying Israel Is The Pro-Israel Thing To Do

Destroying Israel Is The Pro-Israel Thing To Do

By Jeremy Ben-Ami, J Street Executive Director We’ve gotten so used to associating support for Israel with support for Israel’s right to exist that it no longer occurs to us to wonder whether that must be the case. My organization ...

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IDF Considering Drone Strikes On Vegans

IDF Considering Drone Strikes On Vegans

Tel Aviv, April 21 – Faced with unprecedented levels of smugness that interferes with operations, the Israel Defense Forces have developed plans to remotely eliminate vegans, the source of 95% of that smugness. A recent threat analysis commissioned by the ...

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Europe: Slaughter Of Jews Kosher, Kosher Slaughter Not

Europe: Slaughter Of Jews Kosher, Kosher Slaughter Not

Brussels, April 20 – In a clear sign of Western civilization’s progress, European countries that made it a ritual to slaughter Jews are outlawing Jewish ritual slaughter. The continent with the bloodiest history when it comes to Jews has evolved ...

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I Like Having Iran’s Fist Up My Butt

I Like Having Iran’s Fist Up My Butt

By Hezbollah Leader Hassan Nasrallah There’s no higher goal than resisting Israeli occupation. And there’s no better way to resist Israeli occupation than by replacing it with effective Iranian occupation. My organization exerts most of its efforts trying to keep ...

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Two-State Solution Coffin Now Made Entirely Of Nails

Two-State Solution Coffin Now Made Entirely Of Nails

Jerusalem, April 15 – The latest iteration of failed Israeli-Palestinian negotiations means that the metaphorical coffin of the vision of two states for two peoples has had so many nails driven into it that the quantity of wood composing it ...

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