Los Angeles, March 15 – One of the leading organizations monitoring Israeli treatment of Palestinians has engaged one of Hollywood’s leading directors to contrive confrontations between Palestinian protesters and Israeli troops in order to portray the troops as brutal to ...
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Feed SubscriptionGod To Consolidate Drink-Fests Of St. Patrick’s Day, Purim
Eden, March 14 – The Lord Almighty has released plans announcing His intention to reduce the number of different holidays associated with intensive drinking, a move that will result this year in the Jewish festival of Purim and the Irish-Catholic ...
Read More »Palestinians Upset IDF Gaza Action Caused No Civilian Casualties
Gaza City, Gaza Strip, March 13 – Leaders of various Palestinian factions are expressing their dismay today that Israel’s retaliation for rocket fire from the Gaza Strip did not kill any noncombatants. Israel attacked and killed the crew of a ...
Read More »Rockets Evidently Desperate To Escape Gaza Strip
Eshkol Regional Council, Israel, March 13 – The dozens of rockets launched from the Gaza Strip since yesterday have told PreOccupiedTerritory that they are trying to escape the clutches of Gaza militants. More than 60 rockets have attempted to escape ...
Read More »Jordanians Outraged That Israeli Soldiers Would Defend Themselves
Amman, Jordan, March 12 – Following the shooting by IDF soldiers of a Jordanian man at a border crossing, Jordanian officials and protesters have expressed rage at the notion that Israeli soldiers take actual measures to defend themselves as necessary. ...
Read More »All-Powerful Zionist Conspiracy Apparently Really Bad At Covering Its Tracks
Jerusalem, March 10 – The Learned Elders of Zion, who exert tight control over international banking, media, commerce, government, entertainment, and politics, are agonizing over their continued inability to conceal their activities from the conspiracy-theory-minded public. Rumors of Jewish control ...
Read More »Our Desire To Destroy Israel As A Jewish State Is Not A Core Issue
By Mahmoud Abbas, Palestinian Authority President The American-sponsored negotiations between us and Israel reached a stalemate long ago, with neither side budging on what many are calling the “core issues.” Those include arrangements for Palestinian refugees, borders, the status of ...
Read More »Car Bomber Thwarted By Manual Transmission
Jenin, March 9 – A Palestinian man was killed this morning while attempting to attack Israelis with a car bomb, but was unable to drive the vehicle to his selected location. The vehicle he had been provided was a stick-shift ...
Read More »Obama Advisers Warn Of Paint Shortage For More Red Lines
Washington, March 8 – Officials in President Barack Obama’s cabinet advised him today that the administration’s inventory of red paint is nearly exhausted, having used it repeatedly and ineffectively with Syria, Iran, and Russia. More red lines, they warned, might ...
Read More »Ottomans, British Apparently Unaware Palestine Actually Sovereign The Whole Time
London – Palestinian historians examining the administration of the Holy Land during the British and Ottoman periods have discovered that the rulers of that land remained completely oblivious to the fact that they were not really the ones in charge. ...
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