By Jeremy Ben-Ami, J Street Executive Director We’ve gotten so used to associating support for Israel with support for Israel’s right to exist that it no longer occurs to us to wonder whether that must be the case. My organization ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionObama Offers To Kill Americans Himself If Islamists Agree Not To
Washington, DC, April 24 – Speaking on the anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing, President Obama sounded a conciliatory note toward Islamists by suggesting that he could engineer the deaths of Americans instead of forcing terrorists to do so. The ...
Read More »After Mimuna, Ashkenazim Allowed To Hate Sephardim Again
Jerusalem, April 23 – The end of a post-Passover holiday celebrating North African Jewish culture in Israel means that Jews of northern and eastern European ancestry can go back to openly disdaining Jews of the Orient. Mimuna, a springtime festival ...
Read More »Syria: ‘Almost Done Using Chemical Arms, Then You Can Have Them’
Damascus, April 22 – Syria’s embattled government says it is almost ready to hand over what remains of its chemical weapons stockpile, but it just needs to perpetrate a few more atrocities with them first. Under an agreement with various ...
Read More »IDF Considering Drone Strikes On Vegans
Tel Aviv, April 21 – Faced with unprecedented levels of smugness that interferes with operations, the Israel Defense Forces have developed plans to remotely eliminate vegans, the source of 95% of that smugness. A recent threat analysis commissioned by the ...
Read More »Europe: Slaughter Of Jews Kosher, Kosher Slaughter Not
Brussels, April 20 – In a clear sign of Western civilization’s progress, European countries that made it a ritual to slaughter Jews are outlawing Jewish ritual slaughter. The continent with the bloodiest history when it comes to Jews has evolved ...
Read More »14 Injured Tripping Over Selves Denying Abbas Condemned Terrorist Attack
Ramallah, April 19 – After a delegation of left-wing Israeli lawmakers insisted that Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas had expressed his disgust at the Monday night shooting near Hebron that left an Israeli father dead, dozens of the leader’s representatives and ...
Read More »I Like Having Iran’s Fist Up My Butt
By Hezbollah Leader Hassan Nasrallah There’s no higher goal than resisting Israeli occupation. And there’s no better way to resist Israeli occupation than by replacing it with effective Iranian occupation. My organization exerts most of its efforts trying to keep ...
Read More »Obama Apologizes To Muslims For Anti-Jewish Kansas Attacks
Washington, DC, April 17 – President Obama expressed remorse today over the fatal shootings in Kansas this week, apologizing to Muslims for allowing Jews to be seen as victims. Frazier Glenn Cross, 73, a known White Supremacist, went on a ...
Read More »Two-State Solution Coffin Now Made Entirely Of Nails
Jerusalem, April 15 – The latest iteration of failed Israeli-Palestinian negotiations means that the metaphorical coffin of the vision of two states for two peoples has had so many nails driven into it that the quantity of wood composing it ...
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