PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

Jerusalem, May 29 – Leaders of Israel’s Haredi community and of Palestinian protesters announced today that they will organize sessions at which activists from both groups can exchange their collective wisdom on rock-throwing and other methods of expression opposition to ...

Ofer Prison, near Jerusalem, May 28 – Hamed Abu Ris, 22, burst forth in a flood of incriminating information this morning after being forced to sit through an explanation of the differences between similarly named Talmudic figures. Abu Ris, a ...

By the MV Mavi Marmara It’s getting old, people. Face it: nobody cares about the stupid Palestinians in the Gaza Strip. Least of all their leaders. So stop trying to organize “freedom” flotillas for people who would be just fine ...

Ben Gurion International Airport, Israel, May 26 – Pope Francis took the opportunity upon his departure from the Holy Land to retract the Vatican’s recognition of the State of Palestine this evening, calling the leaders of the Palestinian government and ...

Jerusalem, May 26 – Three days into his historic journey to Israel and the Palestinian territories, aides to Pope Francis report that the pontiff is at or ahead of schedule on his mission to offend as many individuals, groups, and ...

Ramat HaSharon, May 25 – Bright Foods, the Chinese conglomerate that purchased a controlling stake in Tnuva last week, is trying to reassure Israeli consumers that drinking melamine-contaminated milk will not usually be lethal. Bright Foods completed the purchase of ...

Jerusalem, May 24 – The Almighty convened a press conference this afternoon to admit that He created celery in a fit of silliness, but found that the way humans treated it as food was so entertaining that only when the ...

Beituniya, May 23 – Analysis of the video footage surrounding the apparent shooting death of a Palestinian youth last week has military experts concluding that the Palestinians have developed a new type of protester, one that emits no blood even ...

Tel Aviv, May 23 – A day after police detained several teenagers for slashing tires and spraying hateful graffiti in a Galilee town last month, the editorial board at Haaretz spared no punches in detailing how they expected the State ...

By Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, Prime Minister, Republic of Turkey In the internet age it’s easier than ever to spread rumors of secret cabals manipulating major events, and to find a receptive audience for those rumors. That’s why we need to ...