WARNING: This device must only be used against civilians. The manufacturer shall not be liable for damage or injury incurred as a result of use against bona fide military targets. Thank you for purchasing your Katyusha™ Brand disposable rocket. We ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed Subscription6 Knesset Members Hospitalized After Excessive Posturing
Jerusalem, March 23 – Half a dozen Israeli lawmakers were taken for medical treatment today after they engaged in political posturing that their bodies could not handle. Four of the six were reacting to the trial verdict of MK Muhammad ...
Read More »UN: Who Says Gaza Kidnapping Tunnel To Be Used For Kidnapping?
New York, March 22 – The United Nations Security Council reacted this morning with dismay to Israeli efforts to destroy a tunnel from the Gaza Strip, denouncing Israel for collectively punishing Gaza residents by denying all of them the ability ...
Read More »Don’t Insult My Life’s Work By Calling Israeli Policies ‘Genocide’
By Adolf Hitler I’m as anti-Jew as the next Nazi, but stop saying Israel commits genocide against the Palestinians. Calling anything Israel does to the Palestinians “genocide” is a slap in the face to those of us who devoted years ...
Read More »Security Council Rejects Petition on Syria War Crimes: ‘No Mention of Israeli Atrocities’
New York, March 20 – The United Nations Security Council reacted coolly to a petition calling for the body to investigate alleged war crimes by the Syrian government and insurgent rebels, saying that the request failed to provide for adequate ...
Read More »Banks To Charge Less For Letting You Use Your Own Damn Money
Tel Aviv, March 19 – Bank HaPoalim became the first Israeli bank to release its government-mandated fee schedule today, announcing three packages for different levels of account activity that will allow Israelis to pay less than they have been paying ...
Read More »Europe Running Out Of Jewish Tombstones To Deface
Tatabanya, Hungary, March 18 – Antisemitic vandals spray-painted swastikas and slogans all over the Jewish cemetery here last week, stoking worries among Europe’s far-right leadership that they face a looming shortage of such sites to deface. The desecration highlights the ...
Read More »Documenting Palestinian Violations Of Human Rights is Just Too Darn Complicated
By the Palestinian Centre For Human Rights When a rocket kills a Palestinian child, there is only one important question we rights organizations ask: who fired the weapon? Only if the answer is Israel do we then examine the myriad ...
Read More »UN Condemns All Jews For Mordechai Not Bowing To Haman
Geneva – The United nations Security Council issued a condemnation of the Jewish people today, following Mordechai’s refusal to prostrate himself before Haman, another of the King Ahashverosh’s ministers. The resolution called the refusal “a deplorable act of intolerance,” and ...
Read More »Haman’s 50-Cubit Gallows Cited For Zoning Violation
Susa, Persian Empire – Prime Minister Haman Ben Hamedata has been charged with a fine of 50 silver pieces for erecting an unauthorized structure on his property, sources inside the palace reported today. Eyewitnesses told PreOccupied Territory that upon returning ...
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