Ramallah, Palestinian Territories – After more than two decades of relying primarily on the simple, handheld “rock” device to register displeasure with Israeli military rule, West Bank Palestinians plan to bring more sophisticated weapons to bear. Rock 2.0 is expected ...
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Feed SubscriptionNaïve Israel Advocates Think New Genetic Study Will Silence Rabid Foes
Jerusalem, February 25 – Supporters of Israel who have been living under a rock for the last hundred years expect that a study debunking an earlier claim – that Ashkenazi Jews were not genetically linked to the ancient Jewish inhabitants ...
Read More »Sanitation Truck Kills Crown Heights Jew; Community Doesn’t Violently Riot For Some Reason
Crown Heights, Brooklyn, February 24 – New York City officials are puzzling over the Crown Heights Jewish community’s non-violent reaction to the killing of one of its members by a Department of Sanitation trash collection truck yesterday morning. A 25-year-old ...
Read More »Palestinian Refugees Welcome Arab Apartheid; ‘For Our Own Good’
Amman, Jordan, February 23 – This week, as organizations on college campuses around the globe try to draw attention to what activists have labeled Israel’s “Apartheid” policies governing Palestinians, Palestinian refugees are emphasizing that the even harsher treatment they receive ...
Read More »PreOccupied Territory Erectio- Corrections! We Mean Corrections!
By PreOccupied Territory Staff A January 27th Article entitled, “UN Insecurity Council Denounces Self” quoted an expert as characterizing the Council as troubled by issues of self-confidence, self-deception, and hypocrisy. It should also have included comical self-aggrandizement. In the January ...
Read More »Arab Despots Puzzled At Ukrainian Refusal To Mow Down Protesters
Damascus, February 22 – In the wake of a popular uprising in Ukraine that resulted in the deposing of Viktor Yanukovich as president, leaders throughout the Middle East are expressing bewilderment that the authorities in Kiev did not immediately resort ...
Read More »Rabbis Ban Raisins From Cookies; ‘An Abomination’
Bnei Brak, Israel, February 21 – Prominent Orthodox and Haredi (“ultra-orthodox”) Rabbis reacted today to what they called a worrisome trend among bakers, and issued an unequivocal ruling against the use of raisins as an ingredient in cookies. They called ...
Read More »Mel Gibson Overdue For Next Antisemitic Rant
Hollywood, CA, February 20 – Motion picture industry experts and prejudice-monitoring groups are expressing concern over the recent absence of Mel-Gibson-related controversies, saying that the time of his next anticipated outburst bad-mouthing Jews passed some time ago. They say the ...
Read More »In Case of Involvement in Syria, France to Preemptively Surrender
Paris (Reuters) – President François Hollande of France announced today that in anticipation of his country’s military involvement in the ongoing civil war in Syria, France signals its preemptive surrender as of now. The capitulation represents the latest in a ...
Read More »Study: Arab-Israeli Conflict Source Of 85% Of World’s Bull$#!@
Washington, DC, February 19 – A new study by an independent think tank shows that the lion’s share of BS in the world stems from the conflict between Israel and its neighbors. Environmental and rhetorical scientists from the Center for ...
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