London, February 9 – Veteran British Broadcasting Corporation reporter Peter Philips said today that he regretted reporting matter-of-factly on an attack by Palestinians against an Israeli motorist, and promised that he will redouble his efforts to always include something negative ...
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Feed SubscriptionNice Country, Israel. It Would Be A Shame If Anything Happened To It.
By US Secretary of State John Kerry You Israelis have done a wonderful job building up the place. It would certainly be unfortunate if something bad happened to it. Hey, I’m not threatening. I’m just telling you, there are plenty ...
Read More »Jesus At Second Coming: ‘What Are All These Goyim Doing Here?’
Jerusalem, Israel (AP) – Jesus of Nazareth, proclaimed the King Messiah by his followers and a spiritual guide to nearly two billion people, after returning as promised, expressed dismay this week at the nearly absolute non-Jewishness of those who venerate ...
Read More »Man Hoping To Rid Palestine of Jews Calls Israel ‘Racist’
Munich, Germany, February 6 – The chief Palestinian negotiator in talks with Israel has asked the world to “punish” the Jewish state for its racism, as he pursues the formation of a state next door in which Jews will not ...
Read More »Tel Aviv University Retracts Nasrallah Invitation; ‘Too Zionist’
Tel Aviv, February 5 – Tel Aviv University has taken back its invitation to have Hassan Nasrallah address the students and faculty, after several professors and student activists complained that the Hezbollah leader was insufficiently anti-Zionist. The university had issued ...
Read More »Starving, Besieged Palestinian Refugees In Syria Thrilled That Pro-Palestinian Activists Focusing On Scarlett Johansson
Yarmuk Refugee Camp, Syria, February 4 – Syrian troops surround this crowded, dangerous camp as snipers, starvation, and lack of medicine takes the lives of dozens of its residents, but the Palestinian refugees living here are expressing gratitude to their ...
Read More »Israeli Theorists Posit Cheeses Other Than “Yellow,” “White”
Rechovot, Israel, February 3 – Scientists at the Weizmann Institute of Science have promulgated a theory that is sending ripples through the Israeli dairy industry: that it is possible to manufacture a spreadable cheese that is not “White Cheese,” and ...
Read More »Security Council Demands Israel Stop Being So Goddamn Moral
New York, February 2 – The United Nations Security Council endorsed a statement this morning calling on Israel to stop providing medical treatment to wounded Syrians, saying that the practice conflicts with the negative portrayal of Israel the body wishes ...
Read More »We Won’t Throw Israel Under The Bus Till We Get A Bigger Bus
By Barack Obama I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we have your back, Israel. If you ever want to see it again, do as I say. There’s been all sorts of talk of my administration throwing Israel under ...
Read More »Chabad House of Mecca To Close
Mecca, Saudi Arabia, January 31 – The joke remains relevant, but poignantly less so now: you might find Coca-Cola in the holy city of Mecca, but you will no longer find a Chabad shaliach. After three years of keeping the ...
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