Jerusalem, January 26 – Israeli lawmakers approved obnoxiously proposed legislation on Sunday allocating money for a variety of inappropriate activities. The Inappropriations Law determines which of the rude items in the annual budget will receive funding, from how-to classes on ...
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Feed SubscriptionJewish Communities Discovered Outside New York
New York, January 24 (Duh) – Jewish leaders are reeling in the wake of the discovery that there are functioning Jewish communities beyond the New York area. It has long been accepted that individual or small groups of Jews might ...
Read More »Iran President Promises “Prudent, Moderate” Annihilation of Israel
Davos, Switzerland, January 23 – President Hassan Rouhani of Iran put forth a more diplomatic face today, telling reporters and dignitaries that his country would pursue its aims through a careful course of action, one of “constructive engagement” with the ...
Read More »Mass Demonstrations Calling For U.S. Intervention In Syria Continue Not To Happen
Traffic inside the D.C. Beltway was not disrupted. Washington, January 23 – Two years since the start of an uprising against Basher Al-Assad’s rule, millions of people did not gather in public places across the U.S. to demand that the ...
Read More »It’s My Job To Make Sure The English On Your Sign Is Wrong
By Iver Mikhshol, Municipal Sign Approval Commission No storefront business is complete without an attractive sign out front. And no such business will open in this town unless it contains at least one glaring error in English. Guaranteed! Municipal law ...
Read More »Isaiah To Settle for Wolves Lying Down With Other Wolves
Jerusalem, January 20 – The eighth-century-BCE Israelite prophet Isaiah has revised his vision for the End of Days in keeping with societal trends and projected developments, downgrading his lofty expectations several notches. In his epic, poetic description of a time ...
Read More »Study: Not All Jew-Haters Want Jews Shot
Some want them gassed, burned, drowned, crushed, buried, dissolved, beheaded or impaled Phoenix, AZ (Reuters) – A Ku Klux Klan poll has found unexpectedly diverse attitudes among Jew-haters. Where researchers expected to encounter broad agreement with the sentiment that Jews ...
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Bank Of Israel Website Launches New Usurer-Friendly Interface
Jerusalem, January 20 – In a nod to advancing technology and and a proliferation of private banking activity, the Bank of Israel will assist emerging lenders by providing a welcoming online environment on their website to any Israeli individual or ...
Read More »Despite 7-Hour Talk, Kerry Fails To Convince Netanyahu His Chin Is Real
Rome, Italy (AP) – US Secretary of State John Kerry spent most of yesterday afternoon and evening attempting to persuade Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu that the secretary’s chin was not fake, but reportedly did not succeed, sources present at ...
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