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Those IDF Racists Won’t Even Rape Our Women

Those IDF Racists Won’t Even Rape Our Women

By Mahmoud Abbas, President of the Palestinian Authority The violations of dignity to which Israel subjects us Palestinians daily are hardly news. But perhaps pointing one one more humiliation will finally transform the world’s outrage into action: those Israeli soldiers ...

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Netanyahu Hires Vizzini To Start US War With Iran

Netanyahu Hires Vizzini To Start US War With Iran

Jerusalem, January 16 – Information leaked from Israeli cabinet intelligence briefings suggests that Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu has engaged a Sicilian mercenary to foment a war between the United States and Iran. Long dismissive of American and other international efforts ...

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Raid Of Kashrut Dept. Finds No Evidence Of Competence, Credibility

Raid Of Kashrut Dept. Finds No Evidence Of Competence, Credibility

The Rabbinate’s system, says Ministry spokeswoman Amira L’akum, charged its supervisors with inspecting too many establishments, impairing their ability to adequately supervise any single one. Authorities conducted a raid this morning of the Israeli Rabbinate’s department for supervising and certifying ...

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String of Failures Forces Minister of Apocalypses to Resign

String of Failures Forces Minister of Apocalypses to Resign

Megiddo, Israel, December 21 (AP) – Following the latest in a long series of abortive global cataclysms, Minister of Apocalypses Mark O’thebiest announced his resignation today, acknowledging ministerial responsibility for the string of non-events. O’thebiest had presided over decades of ministerial ...

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Agency Surprised By Backlash Against Ads Mocking Fat Kids

Agency Surprised By Backlash Against Ads Mocking Fat Kids

Tel Aviv (AP) – Publicity firm JCDecaux was taken aback by the completely unforeseen reaction to an advertising campaign that distorted the images of children to make them look excessively overweight. The company found itself unexpectedly on the defensive after ...

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Race To Politicize Pope’s Mideast Visit Begins

Race To Politicize Pope’s Mideast Visit Begins

Jerusalem (AP) – Pope Francis announced yesterday that he would be visiting the Holy Land in May of this year, setting off a scramble among Israelis and Palestinians to score propaganda points in their ongoing conflict and to leverage the ...

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