Tel Aviv, March 19 – Bank HaPoalim became the first Israeli bank to release its government-mandated fee schedule today, announcing three packages for different levels of account activity that will allow Israelis to pay less than they have been paying ...
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Feed SubscriptionEurope Running Out Of Jewish Tombstones To Deface
Tatabanya, Hungary, March 18 – Antisemitic vandals spray-painted swastikas and slogans all over the Jewish cemetery here last week, stoking worries among Europe’s far-right leadership that they face a looming shortage of such sites to deface. The desecration highlights the ...
Read More »Documenting Palestinian Violations Of Human Rights is Just Too Darn Complicated
By the Palestinian Centre For Human Rights When a rocket kills a Palestinian child, there is only one important question we rights organizations ask: who fired the weapon? Only if the answer is Israel do we then examine the myriad ...
Read More »UN Condemns All Jews For Mordechai Not Bowing To Haman
Geneva – The United nations Security Council issued a condemnation of the Jewish people today, following Mordechai’s refusal to prostrate himself before Haman, another of the King Ahashverosh’s ministers. The resolution called the refusal “a deplorable act of intolerance,” and ...
Read More »Haman’s 50-Cubit Gallows Cited For Zoning Violation
Susa, Persian Empire – Prime Minister Haman Ben Hamedata has been charged with a fine of 50 silver pieces for erecting an unauthorized structure on his property, sources inside the palace reported today. Eyewitnesses told PreOccupied Territory that upon returning ...
Read More »Human Rights Watch Hires Michael Bay To Portray Palestinians As Innocent, IDF As Brutal
Los Angeles, March 15 – One of the leading organizations monitoring Israeli treatment of Palestinians has engaged one of Hollywood’s leading directors to contrive confrontations between Palestinian protesters and Israeli troops in order to portray the troops as brutal to ...
Read More »God To Consolidate Drink-Fests Of St. Patrick’s Day, Purim
Eden, March 14 – The Lord Almighty has released plans announcing His intention to reduce the number of different holidays associated with intensive drinking, a move that will result this year in the Jewish festival of Purim and the Irish-Catholic ...
Read More »Palestinians Upset IDF Gaza Action Caused No Civilian Casualties
Gaza City, Gaza Strip, March 13 – Leaders of various Palestinian factions are expressing their dismay today that Israel’s retaliation for rocket fire from the Gaza Strip did not kill any noncombatants. Israel attacked and killed the crew of a ...
Read More »Rockets Evidently Desperate To Escape Gaza Strip
Eshkol Regional Council, Israel, March 13 – The dozens of rockets launched from the Gaza Strip since yesterday have told PreOccupiedTerritory that they are trying to escape the clutches of Gaza militants. More than 60 rockets have attempted to escape ...
Read More »Jordanians Outraged That Israeli Soldiers Would Defend Themselves
Amman, Jordan, March 12 – Following the shooting by IDF soldiers of a Jordanian man at a border crossing, Jordanian officials and protesters have expressed rage at the notion that Israeli soldiers take actual measures to defend themselves as necessary. ...
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